Part I – Not My story

This is something new from me.
These are my words but this isn’t my story. Not even remotely.
A while back a lovely guy contacted me and gave me some brief details about a fetish he had that he only once got to play out. It fascinated me as I didn’t know much about it and hadn’t ever talked to anyone who’d done it. The more I asked the more he told me and eventually I asked him if I could make it into a story.
So, here it is, or Part I of it anyway, after extensive probing questions and a whole load of patience on his part.
I’ve put myself in his girlfriend’s shoes and told it from her perspective. It won’t be to everyone’s taste, it might even be hard to comprehend but hopefully as ever, it’s at least a good read.



It was a few years ago, not that many but it feels like ages now. I haven’t done anything like that in years. Nothing as exciting. I’m not sure why? It’s not like I haven’t wanted to – or tried. But I suppose nothing has been as easy since.
He was only my third, fourth if you count that useless third time, which I don’t I suppose? But there was something else with us as soon as we got together. He definitely had more experience than me. Which I loved straight away. It was so easy and delicious being with someone who knew what they were doing, who knew what they wanted. It made it easy to say things, to want things, to finally explore all the thoughts I had never been able to even contemplate before. He made me want to do things I didn’t even know I wanted or knew about – and not just want to do them but made me ache to do them. He gave me the feeling that I could say just about anything – and it wouldn’t shock him. Unlike anybody else I knew. This made me bold. The more I asked him the more he told me, the more it turned me on.
He was a guy who had done things and wasn’t going to hold back. Well, compared to me he had, but that’s not saying much, admittedly. I wanted to know every fantasy he had, I wanted him to know that I wanted to go there too. Ok I wanted to impress him but .. I wanted to be helped by someone who wanted to push it as much as me.
The sex was great. Let’s just get that straight, he was fit and good looking and we had a great time together. I’d ask him what his fantasies were, ask him what he’d done hoping, hoping that he’d say something that pushed my boundaries but still turned me on. And one day, about 6 months in, he did. He said he’d like to watch another guy fuck me.
That was it, there it was, the gem I was waiting for. The thing I didn’t know I wanted until he told me about it in a way that made me desperate to do it. I wasn’t shocked I just again agreed it sounded hot. I don’t know why I didn’t tell him there and then that I was into it. Maybe I wasn’t fully sure myself? I don’t know but it came up again. Every time it came up and we discussed it in any little bit of detail? We ended up having the hottest sex. And this continued for a while until it had to be done or we had to stop talking about it.
Turns out, it had to be done.

Because it was his idea, he wanted me to have the control, to dictate how it happened. And yes, he suggested it but I wanted this, fuck did I want this. I wanted to feel what it was like with another man having me. And not a guy I was in love with, a guy who just got to have me that one time. Maybe even someone who wouldn’t have a shot with me normally. I wanted to know what that was like, did it feel different, when I … had the absolute power?
The more I thought about this the more I knew that it was what I wanted.

So we wrote an ad and put it on CraigsList. Looked for someone and explained what we wanted. Yup, it was that easy, you’re amazed you didn’t think of it yourself aren’t you! I think initially we wanted him to be able to watch, my boy that is, but in the end it didn’t work out that way. But I’m skipping ahead.
We had so many replies, but then again the ad was from a young couple asking for a guy to have his way with the girl?? Must be confident in bed was mentioned too. No wonder we had responses. When I think back now… we must have been like a dream come true.

It took us ages to pick him. Every time we went through the responses we got so worked up we had unbelievable sex. I have said that it was good before? It was outrageous now, the thought of another guy fucking his girl sent my boy to another place, it got him harder than anything else, instantly. So we enjoyed taking our time picking the right guy. He wanted me to have the ultimate decision-making power and this led to me wanting so much. I wanted someone the opposite of him and fuck it, if I was choosing, I wanted someone really fucking huge. I’m 5’6”, just above average height but I wanted someone who would tower over me, make me feel tiny and like they could do anything to me. Like he could use me as his fucktoy, and do what he wanted to me and not care. Again my boy said that this is what he wanted and he couldn’t believe that I was willing to indulge him in this fantasy? What the hell! I get to choose a guy that I want and get to fulfil my fantasy of being with him just for his physique and desire to ravish me. This isn’t for everyone but this really was something that I still believe we both wanted equally.
My own boy was very confident, he had every reason to be, he had girls all over him all the time. He was hot, he kind of knew it and he knew what he was doing in the sack. But he wasn’t arrogant, he was just; confident. When I told him that I wanted someone the opposite of him, he wasn’t jealous or insecure, I knew he wouldn’t be. I knew I would be able to tell him I wanted a massive cock. I’d only had 3 before him and even though he was the biggest I had seen, I just wanted so see what it would be like with a really big one. That’s got to be understandable. What I suppose mightn’t be is my boy’s reaction. It turned him on. But that’s what this situation needs. Someone who isn’t insecure and who really, really wants their girl to get fucked – anyway she wants. Even if that’s better or harder or hotter. It was all part of the fantasy of this fetish.
Why wouldn’t I want this? I felt so lucky.
See it’s the pleasure pain dynamic that did it for him; he’s tortured by another guy fucking me, using me, doing what he likes with me. Another guy that is bigger, stronger and wholly different. And in this torture there’s a pleasure, there’s a turn on. I suppose for some it’s that anticipatory moment before they are spanked, for others it’s the torture of being blindfolded and not knowing what’s coming next. It’s not the act itself but how it makes them feel. For my boy, his ecstasy was this.



The guy was 6’3” or 4. Kind of burly. He said he was 34 but I think he was older? We emailed for a while, I wanted to get a sense that he might know what he was doing. I sent pictures of myself, he sent me his cock. That’s actually what did it for me. It really was massive. He described what he wanted to do to me, what he was interested in, he teased with comments like ‘I hope she’ll be able for me’ and ‘Don’t worry, I’ll show her a good time’ – it was time to meet.

I’ve no idea what this guy’s deal was, why he was doing this or if this was anything he’d done before. He said he was experienced, since he broke up with the ex he wasn’t having much luck. Maybe he was married? I’ve no way of knowing. But what I did know was that he wasn’t keen on being watched. Which I suppose was ok, me and the boy agreed we were happy with that, this time. If this guy wasn’t into being watched we decided that it could be hot in another way if he didn’t get to watch me get fucked, if he just got to know it was going on. This torture itself would send him wild.

So we had a date: Saturday evening, a venue: city centre hotel, and some basic ground rules. We were to meet in the bar and have a drink. If all was ok, I’d text my boy to say so.
I was nervous on the days leading up to it. But on the day? It was only excitement. Pure desire. This had been building for weeks on end. I wanted, and could think of, nothing else. I couldn’t wait for his massive body to be near me, to feel his giant cock fill me.
I got ready like it was a big night out, I wanted to be every thing this guy hoped for. I wanted to be better than he hoped for. My skin, my hair, my makeup, underwear – everything was chosen for maximum response. And of course my pussy was totally shaved. I love shaving it, I love feeling it as I make it smooth, just doing this in the shower makes me want to touch myself and get some release. I do, but I don’t let myself come this day.

It’s 5.30pm that I’m supposed to meet him so I don’t want to look too dressed up. I want to look hot, but not Saturday night hot, it wouldn’t suit. So I opt for tight jeans, good t-shirt and a blazer – chic, not out of place, but definitely noticeable. And of course heels. Not too high though, I don’t want to be too tall, I want to really feel the benefit of all 6’4” of him. A stark contrast to my 5’9” boyfriend.
When I come downstairs, dressed and ready, I can tell he’s agitated but not with any regret, with excitement and sheer unknown knowledge of what to do with himself. He looks at me with that devouring look of appraisal that I love. I have my hair the way he likes, I have on the perfume he loves. This is all for him and he gets to touch none of it. He’s a master at teasing himself and lest I forget this fact and that this is a fantasy come true for him, he goes and reminds me with two pieces of pants wetting genius. He looks at me, from a little distance then tells me to pull my jeans down, I do and I’m wearing his favourite red, lace, French knickers. He doesn’t touch me, just says ‘Good’. Then at the door, just before I leave he stands right up close to me, puts his hand down and grabs my ass, pulls me in a bit closer, his face is right next to mine and he’s looking at me like he’s never wanted me more – I think he’s going to kiss me but he doesn’t. And I know it’s because he doesn’t want to mess up my makeup, that that’s for the other guy to have.
God he was good. I’m in awe at the control he was able to exercise. I’m turned on by it.



I spot him straight away. He looks a bit older than I was expecting but that’s fine because I want him anyway. His eyes light up when he spots me, possibly not expecting me to be as attractive? I enjoyed that. It set the tone.
He asks if I’d like a drink, I would, and he gets one for himself also. I get the impression he might have had one or two already but he’s certainly not drunk. I send the text to my boy and let him know everything is ok. He tells me afterwards that that text had him almost bursting out of his pants with excitement, he knew it had begun.

We rush through our drinks and before 20 minutes has passed he asks do I want to head up to the room. I have fleeting thoughts that the bar staff think that I’m a prostitute; and I like it, relish it in fact. Little do they know, it’s way worse than that. We down our drinks and head up.

The lift door closes and we both stand back against the mirror, not facing each other. He slides his hand down over my ass, says something almost inaudible, but I’m pretty sure it was ‘My god that feels good’. Had to have been something to that effect as this emboldened him and he somehow managed to get one of his massive hands down my tight jeans and this one hand spans almost both my cheeks. And he nearly has them into my pussy too. All in the space of seconds.

We get to the room and he opens the door for me to walk in, he follows close behind and immediately stands right into my back. My breathing was already heavy but now, now my heart rate is rising and I’m possibly more turned on than I could have thought. He lifts my hair and starts kissing my neck. I adore this subtle first move. Then he presses himself against me from behind and I get my first feel of it. God it feels huge. He moves his hands down to my pussy and starts rubbing and pressing it right through my jeans. I know I’m wet already. The thought of how dirty this is, my mind’s picture of his cock, my own incredulity of what is happening; I mean, I’m here with another man and my boyfriend knows about it, is at home thinking about it and picturing this man with his hands all over his girl? This is so wrong and so hot – I know if he has any skills, I’m going to come for this stranger so easy and so hard, within minutes.
The combination of him behind me kissing my neck and grabbing my pussy is so different, it’s not something my boyfriend usually does, it feels like something someone who doesn’t know me would do, and I love it. He moans into my neck, god I fucking loved how much he wanted me. He moved up to my tits and groped them then back to my pussy, still over my clothes like he didn’t know what to do first. This couldn’t be better, this is exactly what I wanted to feel, his urgent and obvious need for me. I reach back to grab his cock, I am aching to touch it, to feel it. But he has his arms around me so I can’t manoeuvre that well, so I let him get on with feeling me all over, getting a good handle on what it is he was going to have. But I couldn’t take this for long we should be getting into this properly so I took the initiative, turned around to him and started kissing him. I needed to face him so I could feel that cock, was it as big as I hoped? The kiss got deep and insistent and wet, he really got into it. Again, just a bit different to my boyfriend. With me now facing him and the kissing getting us both more wanton he went to work on the buttons on my jeans. While I tried to get as much of my hands on his cock as I could – from outside his pants.
As soon as he got inside my jeans, they were only just down around my ass, he moaned deeply into my mouth. I was wet, I was so fucking wet I knew it but this was something else causing him to moan, I could tell he was surprised by something and it wasn’t just how wet I was? Was this his first time with a shaved pussy? We’re still standing there, kissing wildly and grabbing at each other’s crotches’, although he at least has my jeans rolled down and has his hands circling my clit with another one behind almost spreading my ass cheeks. I can’t take it anymore, I need to see his cock, I need my hands on it properly.
I step back slightly so I can get at his pants and drop them, his erection is straining against his underwear, I’m drinking in the sight, I wish I’d taken more time but I just couldn’t, I had to see it, to feel it. I lifted them down over it to finally see it in the flesh, it was magnificent, throbbing and hard as a diamond.
At the same time he’d managed to pull my knickers down and was almost incredulous at the sight of my smooth, hairless pussy. He was genuinely mesmerised by it I felt.
That’s when he asked me if all the girls were doing this now. He told me how sexy it was, how sexy it made me look. I really don’t think he’d encountered it before. I was ecstatic with this, he was practically worshipping my cunt and yet wasn’t cowed by the situation, he was ravenous for me. We started kissing again and I have my hands on his cock, working it and loving the feeling of it in my hand. I can get both of them onto it and there’s still a bit of room at the top.

He finally sat down on the bed and brought me down with him. We’re both still in our clothes with just our pants down. I take off my jacket and as I do he pulls down my jeans, leaves the knickers around one knee. I adore this, just always seem so much dirtier to either have my knickers only half way off. As I go to take off his pants, he does it for me, and his underwear. He’s now there fully naked in front of me and he seems even bigger, almost too big and I’m not scared, I’m thrilled.
I take off my t-shirt and bra and fling them away and he comes at me, hands all over me appreciating every bit of my body. He’s got his hands between my legs and his mouth eating my tits, licking and sucking every bit of me as his giant fingers go right into me. God I can barely take it.

But before it can go any further, can’t forget why we’re here in the first place. The next part of the deal, the stranger has to take a picture of my knickers on the floor and send them to my boy. The accompanying message just said ‘look familiar?’ he wanted to know as we got down and dirty, wanted to know that it was really happening.
As he’s doing this I lick my way down his body inching closer to what I want. And then it’s in my mouth. It is the biggest thing I’ve ever had in there and I can feel it throbbing and pulsating. I work it as best I can, I’m so aroused by it. My boyfriend tells me later he’s delighted that, thanks to the text, he can pinpoint the time I first got it in my mouth.

He’s making the right noises and he has his hands in my hair as I work my mouth up and down trying to give him as much pleasure as I can and loving every second this enormous erection is in my tiny mouth. I could taste a bit of pre cum, I was doing a good job. Maybe too good, he wasn’t about to let himself come just yet. He rolled me onto my back and got between my legs. This is his first taste of my smooth cunt. I am dripping wet anyway but he goes at me like a lion having his first piece of meat in a month. The technique wasn’t as good as my boyfriend but that’s not why I was here. I was here to have someone devour me and this was a great start.

He pushed my knees up to my chest, spread me wide and licked and sucked me everywhere. He lightly bit my thighs and licked them all the way up to the lips. Then bit them and licked all the way back again. He buried his head in my cunt and shook it from side to side. The hotel could have gone on fire and I don’t think he’d have noticed while his face was between my legs. I wanted this, I was so turned on by my how much this huge guy wanted me, every piece of me, that alone could have made me come. Then he worked some fingers into me as he ate me. Oh God I was close. I told him how much I loved what he was doing. As I felt it build I held his head in place and came onto his mouth, moaning and grinding onto him. Shouting at the end how much I loved it.

As soon as I could I wriggled out from under him and got my mouth back around his cock, desperate to give him a taste of what I just had. I went to work sucking hard or trying as best I could. I alternated between my hands and my mouth. Because I love this, because it’s effective and because I just loved looking at that cock and seeing it in my hands. Always wanting it back in my mouth before too long though. I was between his legs and as I was sucking and stroking him hard and tight he started rocking his hips into me, fucking my mouth. I was getting aroused again, I was ready again I wanted more. He sweeps my hair back so he can see me and I started sucking his balls, not letting him come just yet but he was close, I put my mouth back over his cock but it turns me on so much – I wanted him to come in my mouth but I let out a moan just as he came and he shot jets of his come just at that second. It hit my face, my mouth, my neck. It trickled down my chest and dripped off my tits. A perfect money shot as far as I was concerned. I am thrilled with myself.
I suspect he is too.


……. Hope you liked part I, part II is next week

Part II – Not My Story

So here is part two of the cuckolding story that I did not experience but happily gave shape to with some words…

(you might need to read the first part here)



I pop to the loo to have a wipe down and check my make-up – quick retouch, then I re-join him on the bed. He’s gone semi soft now but I struggle to take my eyes off it because it still looks so big to me? I sat beside him and he pulled me in close to him, it was really intimate and I liked it. I think it’s crucial to be able to do this with someone even with the most casual of encounters, you need to acknowledge and appreciate the connection. He told me how amazing I was, again it seems silly given what we’re doing but I think this again is important – you need to tell your partner that you enjoyed them, as confident as anyone is they still should be told this. It’s just good etiquette isn’t it?
My boy also loved that this happened when I told him. He’d be one for excellent sex manners too.
As we sat there, one arm around me, he started playing with my tits again. I was still ready from having made him come and it wasn’t long before the kissing got deep and wet again. We were lying side by side and then he got between my legs, he was solid again and the length of his cock ran the entire length of my pussy! I could feel it everywhere as he started to press it against me and grind, it was sensational. I was losing myself again, I moved with him, pressed up to him and encouraged him. His sheer size on top of me, I was in awe. He rubbed into my pussy and I got wetter and wetter, he was working his shaft up through the lips without entering me and this alone was making me dissolve, it was right up against my clit and I was aching for him to enter me but adoring what he was doing. We were still kissing and consuming each other as we got more lost in it.
He pulled away a little and his cock was coated in me, my wetness and juice. He started rubbing it all over his cock so I could see, fuck I love that sight. Then with the tip he parted my lips and went up and down like his cock was a sextoy, teasing me and sending me wild. Rubbing his cockhead into my clit and circling it there to build my pleasure.
I asked him to put a condom on, he said in a minute, he wasn’t done teasing me. I let him continue, I wanted this so much. I felt myself losing all control as he continued with his cock in his hand going up and down my lips and stopping at my clit to keep it stimulated and me on the brink.
He was almost animalistic at this point, working me frantically with unbridled desire all over his face.
He breached the lips and he entered me just a little – oh god I wanted it, my sense of reason was almost disappeared, I wanted it all in me. He rocked gently back and forth, barely an inch in me and I thought I could come from it.
I know that you know what’s coming and you’re right. And I have no defence. We’ve all done this, we’ve all made a mistake. But we’ve all succumbed to passion in the moment. In a perfect moment of desire where you’re not even aware of yourself?
I want this but I know I have to stop, he’s not wearing protection and I am so close to having no control over myself. My head is swimming with how much I want him fully in me. I have my arms wrapped around him and he feels just so utterly different to what I’m used to. I pull him into me and we’re kissing rabidly and more of his cock goes into me, more of him fills me until …. all of him is in me and I feel like I could split with the size of it and how perfect that feels. He’s fully in me and he’s fully fucking me and I… can’t stop. I love this, I want this, I’m lost to this ecstasy. He’s pounding me into the bed like an machine and it’s everything I wanted. He gets to his knees so he can see himself go in and out of me, his huge size slide in and out my small hole. I could feel an almighty and life changing climax build in me but I could feel his build too and I had to stop him, he can’t come inside me, this has already gone too far. I’ve no idea how I managed to but I did and insisted he put on a condom.
I’m not proud but I was tempted to just let it happen.
He eventually pulls out, really slowly and it feels great. He’s working it with his hand, again I can see myself all over him, his whole dick is slick with my pussy.
I am gagging for this now. I want him to get a condom on and continue to fuck me. But he has other plans – this guy is true to his word, he is experienced and he is good. He’s going to draw this out a bit longer. I’m impressed.
He bends forward and goes back to work with his mouth on my pussy clearly happy to taste all our combined fluids, this just turns me on even more.
With my ankles in his hands he pushed my knees up beside my ears, delighting in my flexibility and ease at being positioned into unflattering angles. I can’t imagine how debauched it looked to have this guy pin me like this, exposing me and probing me, two fingers into me as he watched my face. Then back to eating me with two fingers in me. Still pinning my legs over my head with one hand. He got me wet, made me wet and kept me wet with a combination of his mouth and my own juices. He seemed to relish spreading it all over my thighs and bum cheeks and into the crack of my ass and slapped my ass as he did it.
He then got on his back and motioned for me to go down on him again and I certainly didn’t need to be asked twice. As I scrambled over him, he easily caught me and spun me round so he had us in the 69 position, wrapping his arms around my lower back and pulling me directly onto his face. But I wasn’t going to let him make me come, not like this. As good as it was, this wasn’t what I wanted this time so I had better make this happen. I sat up so I was straddling his face, enjoying his moans into my pussy as I pinned him there – but my goal was to reach over to grab the condom on the side locker. Now in my hand I stretched back out along him but before I put it on, I wanted his throbbing hard cock in my mouth one more time. Wanted to taste myself off him and smell the unmistakeable smell of a different man.
Once it’s on, I turn around face back towards him and lie on top of him and start kissing again. His cock is pulsating between my thighs, twitching at my crotch with its own hunger. I stay there for a bit letting it slowly find me and then I lift my hips and catch the head at the right point in my lips and slowly lower myself onto it. It was enough, just the tip, to make my face twist into a mask of pleasure, I looked right at him, let him see and he duly lifted his hips and drove his cock fully into me. From there I didn’t even do anything, it was like I was just sitting on him and his bucking underneath me was doing all the work. He had his hands under my ass cheeks and as he thrust his whole body up into me, pulling me apart, driving more and more of himself into me. Almost as if he wanted me to break in two. God I fucking loved it. I was a rag doll to him.

I don’t know how long we did this, but this description will send my boy wild when I relay it. He will love hearing that this giant monster of a guy was able to fuck his tiny 22 year old girlfriend in a way he couldn’t exactly, simply because of size. Love hearing me describe how his crotch smacked off my smooth pussy as he pounded up into me. And of course how I relinquished myself and became this other guy’s fucktoy, and got used by him as he wanted. I better remember every detail. Not just for him.

Then he sat up and did what my boyfriend would simply never have been able to do, he swung his legs over the bed, still with his rock solid cock in me, and stood up. I was literally impaled on his giant weapon! I could never even have imagined how spectacular that could be. He supported my full weight as if I was nothing, so easily.
He effortlessly carried me to the wall and pressed me up against it and fucked me hard. Ramming me against it and hammering me into ecstasy. Nothing could have stopped him, he was in a trance, groaning, growling even and I revelled in this, watching him, listening to his excitement build and for him to lose himself even more. Without warning he walked back to the bed, his cock never leaving my pussy. He lay me on the bed and started to fuck me just missionary but that’s not how I wanted it. I slid him out of me and wriggled onto all fours. As with everything with this guy, he took his time, he wasn’t going to just go straight back in. He slapped my ass again and rubbed his cock up my slit a few times before finally giving it to me and plunging deeper into me. I was whimpering and crying for it, I knew I couldn’t last long.
He was fucking me like a train and slapping my ass as he did it, even called me a dirty bitch and growled how good it was.
I couldn’t stop the orgasm if my life depended on it. It was coming and I couldn’t stop anything my body wanted to do. I normally don’t say much in bed but the words just fell out of my mouth ‘Fuck yes, Fuck, yes, Fuck YES’ as I came on his perfect, giant cock. The start of my orgasm, with my pussy contracting tightly on his cock sent him over the edge and he frantically fucked me to finish us both off. He took hold of my hair and held me in place as my body went weak. He ploughed all he had left into me and let out a delicious guttural noise of sheer relief as he safely, came inside me. I wish he had pulled out and shot it all over my back but he didn’t. He kept moving inside me for another minute or so until he was fully spent and we both collapsed, heaving and sweating onto the bed.

I’m sure I floated right there. I got everything I wanted and I couldn’t wait to tell my boy, to relive it all with him and for him. Retell how this fabulous, beast of a man used his girl. Oh god I hoped the fantasy was still what he wanted and that he got what it was he was looking for? I hoped I could tell it right, remember the details he would look for.

I started to get dressed and I could feel him watching me. I had thought he would have been spent after two goes? Not so it seemed. I could feel his eyes on me as I got myself together. He seemed to have found his voice now, was a little bit arrogant actually asked me rhetorically ‘I bet you’ve never been fucked like that before, bet you’ve never had a fucking so good’. Ok, so that might be true but the arrogance annoyed me a little. I was also, now that it was all over, a little self-conscious with his eyes all over me.
He walked me to the door, without getting dressed. And I did think about having it again. He kissed me deeply and couldn’t resist the last grope. He then opened the door, bollock naked for anyone to see and waved me off. I had to admire his audacity. But it was time for me to get home.

As I’m on my way home the stranger sends a text to my boy. He doesn’t tell him that ‘he’ had a great time, he tells him that we had a great time. I think my boy would have preferred something more, vulgar, disrespectful? Which I’m right about. When he tells me about it later he says he wanted it to be the very opposite of what we had or what we do, just animalistic and a text saying how the stranger had just used me would have been what he was really looking for.

I get in the door and he’s straight on me. My face is devoid of makeup, I’m all messed up and he loves it. I don’t think he knows where to start. He pulls me in close and I can feel the need for me, radiating from him. His cock is straining against his pants and pressed into my thigh. He clearly has no regrets, I’m relieved and even after all I’ve been doing, I’m turned on. He kisses me passionately as if I’ve been away for months, then asks the first question, the only place to start really ‘So, was it good?’ He says almost tentatively. So good baby, I say into his mouth as he keeps kissing me, needing me. We don’t make it that far, just as far as the arm of the couch. He bends me over and pulls my jeans down, I know he’s been waiting all night for this. He puts his hands between my legs, tells me if feels like I’ve been good and fucked. I know this is what he wants, and I have, been good and fucked. I look back at him over my shoulder and tell him. ‘It was such a good fucking, he fucked me really well baby. ‘It feels like it’. I think that was about all that he could take. He was in me and pounding me then. I know what he was thinking – this is what the stranger had, this is what he got to see. It was like he couldn’t get enough of me but this tension had been building for him for the whole time I was away, he wasn’t going to last long. He came harder than I think he ever had with me before. I loved that. I was so proud of myself, that I could do this for him.

I was so thirsty and so tired. I just wanted water and to lie down. (Jesus, how does anyone do this for a living?) We chatted for a bit just the main highlights, no real details. We did have sex again upstairs, I wanted to, I loved how aroused this made my boy but I was just so tired. I didn’t come. I didn’t expect to. I think he thought I did it because I owed it to him, which I kind of did but I don’t like describing it in those terms. Of course I was having sex more for him than me at that point, but this was all part of it. And I got something else out of it, I got to see my boy’s release, this was the culmination of his fantasy, I’d had my bit, now I was there for him.
But the next day? Oh my God the next day!
We woke up early and stayed in bed for hours, most of the day actually. Just the two of us, talking about it. Phones off, blocking the world out. I went through every detail, gave him a blow by blow account of what happened and how it happened, what we did and how it made me feel. And it worked, it did what it was supposed to, it turned us both on to relive it. I relished telling him the details and he revelled in hearing them. We were in bed til late afternoon having the hottest sex of our relationship. And it continued like this, every time we talked about it we both got so worked up it just ignited something in us and the sex was phenomenal.

I know he occasionally worried when he was in me, was I thinking of a bigger cock, was I wishing I had the bigger guy. Maybe I was, sometimes, but not essentially. At the core of this I wanted him, my boy, I wanted our time together. The intimacy of our relationship. Physicality is really only just one aspect to sex and most of the time it’s the least important one. Being a certain physique might be what makes you want to sleep with someone, what they do might make you enjoy it but it’s how they make you feel that makes you want it all the time. That’s what makes you stay.
And it was a fantasy, it played out deliciously but only because of the trust I had with my boy. It was my boyfriend that I wanted all of the time, not a fantasy. It was how my boyfriend made me feel that I wanted, that I loved. Not a stranger. And it was the played out fantasy that we got to share, that was between us, for us to have and to re-play for the rest of our relationship.

So this didn’t break us up. We broke up a long time later and not anything to do with this or any other fetish. We got such mileage out of this experience. It was incendiary every time we talked about it. Sent us both crazy. Although there was a bit of hell to pay when I did confess that the stranger had been inside me for a bit without a condom. This wasn’t just dangerous it was a breach of trust and of the agreement I made. But he couldn’t stay angry at me; he was just so turned on by the thought of me losing control so much in the moment. I suppose I was surprised myself.
We had decided that the cut-off point was when I met the stranger for the drink for better or worse I was going for it then. I had hoped that I would like it, prepared for him to maybe not be as good as he claimed or to not last that long? But I suppose I hadn’t prepared myself to enjoy it that much – to that extent where I forgot myself and about any safety of myself and my partner. I suppose while I don’t fully understand all of what was so erotic about it for my boy, I can understand that it is hotter for him if I was enjoying it?
We did talk about him being with a girl but that never transpired as there didn’t appear to be any girls advertising on CraigsList to accommodate us. Funnily enough. So I can’t say how I’d feel about it. I think I’d feel the same as he did. But I can’t say for sure. I might not have gone through with it, he had been fantasising about this since he was a teenager I was new to it. I think with hindsight I’m glad that I didn’t get to test that limit.

Would we do it again? We tried to, it didn’t work out.
What would we do differently? Well, I probably should have taken photos of the stranger fucking me, that would have been a keepsake and I think something my boy would have flipped over, in a good way. Rookie mistake I suppose. It would have kept him a bit more involved during the session too.
And of course, we’d have hoped that we could have had someone that’s ok with being watched.
But I don’t regret it. I don’t regret any of it and it’s something that I’ll remember fondly and hotly for ever.




Would love to hear anyone’s thoughts or if anyone has had a similar experience.

How It All Ended

Ok, this is a change of pace from the usual, you might hate it, but I had to write it.

(I promise next week will be back to full on filth with a super juicy story from my friend Liam)


All these things I see and I did not see.
There are three indicators that I’m starting to like someone, that they’re getting under my skin – that I’m getting too used to them.
It doesn’t mean that I love them or even that I want to go out with them. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything – except I want them more than anyone else.
They’re probably not your average ones but they’re my markers. And somehow I missed them or hid them from my own comprehension, all until it was too late. It was on the last one that it dawned on me.

When my mind is wandering (usually while cycling) with aimless thoughts of a guy I’ve maybe seen a few times/been seeing for a little while and I think? Wait? No one knows I’m seeing him. No one knows he’s seeing me. If I got killed right now. He’d never know, no one would know to tell him. Or if anything happened him, no one would tell me? I’d just never hear from him again.
And this thought disturbs me.
That’s sign number one that I probably give a shit.

Abbi is short for Abilene. Only my closest friends, family and important lovers (ok boyfriends if you must) call me that. I don’t like people who don’t know me to call me that. It’s somehow too personal.
But I love it when someone figures it out and naturally switches to calling me Abilene.
Sign number two, he only called me Abilene now. And it gave me a thrill every time.

And lastly. I know it’s saccharine. But it’s the word I always use. I don’t use any other.
When I default to calling him baby. Then.
I probably care/am attached/will find leaving difficult.

Hours later after the ass sex, after literally hours more of playing and teasing he finally came again and we both collapsed apart. He rolled to the edge of the end of my bed and out of breath he declared that he couldn’t move and he was just going to sleep where he had landed. I laughed and said: You can sleep where ever you like baby!
And I was so glad the lights were off, and that he was still recovering so that he didn’t see me freeze or hear my breath stop.
That there was the end.
It took all three signs for me to realise it. Feck sake.
There’s no greater betrayal than when your own self betrays you.

I knew then even as we drifted off to sleep together that I would never see him again. That I couldn’t. My brain was starting to get confused, it was trying to trick me.

As we drifted off I whispered ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’ he whispered back ‘Please don’t say that’
And we fell asleep.
I kissed him at the door, groggy with sleep and the sun blinding my eyes.
I wish I’d hid his T-shirt a bit better but he had it. I wanted to keep it. Even though it said cop on it. I wanted to keep something.






*Before anyone berates me for being a horrible bitch, let’s just remember that I haven’t done anything wrong here and neither has he. I just decided that I was getting too used to an arrangement that was becoming a lot of work.
And I was starting to confuse amazing sex with something else. And this was not something else. We never went out, we never had dates we had met none of each other’s friends…. And this suited both of us.
But for me, it had run its course because I felt the lines were getting blurred, and not in a terrible Robin Thicke way, just in the normal terrible way.
He knows all this and isn’t arguing. He enjoyed the ride.

How I Finally Got Fucked in The Ass – mostly literally

Here he was, a guy who could keep up. Not only keep up but possibly outdo me. He was willing to go beyond his own limits just to do things that would turn me on, so that in return I would do what he wanted? Now go ahead and disagree with me but to me? In my mind? That’s fucking love right there. That’s ….. an openness, a respect a true partner in crime..? something, I’ve never been given and I want it more than life itself.
Ok. It’s not love. Not remotely like love but it’s my version of love. Or my version of commitment. That’s something that I would find very hard to walk away from. It was too much. He was saying all the things that were going to make me get attached, not really to him, but to the sex. It was beyond my wildest dreams. I was going to get in trouble if I continued. This kind of sex means more to me than anything else, than anything someone else might deem commitment. It’s a bond I don’t find easily and it’s one I would have to walk away from soon.

Let me back up a little because I did get fucked in the ass. For the first time in my life someone came hard, deep in my arse. And I loved it.
But I loved how he did everything.
He walked in the door and we just kissed, he had said before he got there ‘Can I just have you normally when I get to your place, can we just have each other?’. Of course we could that’s probably all we could do.

As always he was a bit early so I wasn’t at all ready, and was just out of the shower and only in a towel. He picked me up and started to devour me there. He peeled the towel off me and flung it away. It had been 5 weeks there was no time or inclination for either of us to be anything other than greedy for each other. We started there, then to the couch, the chair, the couch again. He made me come there, on the couch, with his mouth, barely having been in the door 10 minutes. Then I wanted to be upstairs. As I go to scamper up the stairs he stops at the end and says ‘Hey? You know where we’ve never done it?’ He wants it on the stairs, simply because that’s the only place in this house where he hasn’t had me. We have it there for a while. He inexplicably puts his hand over my mouth, a new thing but I like it. I feel like I can’t breathe and I enjoy that with him. He’s so deep in me, the stairs is a surprisingly good position. When he eventually takes his hand away, I can’t catch my breath but I want more. I scramble up to the bedroom. I crawl onto the bed and lie back, propped up on my elbows watching him pull the rest of his clothes off. ‘You enjoyed that didn’t you’ he smirks at me. ‘I didn’t know if you would but as soon as I did it I knew it was what you wanted’. I simply say Yes. I liked it. ‘And now? Now what do you want?’ I don’t know I say, what do you want?
‘Well in that case get over here’ he says as he grabs me by the ankles and pulls me towards him. He flips me on my side and plunges deep into me. It feels so tight and so good. I have been craving this. As I close my eyes with every stroke that he hammers into me his fingers find my ass and he works one in. I open my eyes and moan in approval. Then he gets his thumb in there and works it deeper. Again I love how he times the strokes of his cock with the pressure of his thumb, increasing the intensity. He stays at this for a while keeping me at the brink. Then he pulls out and has me flat on my stomach. He’s behind me, almost lying on me and he starts to whisper in my ear. He asks me do I want something else, his hard cock is resting just along the crack of my arse, he asks am I ready for it, do I think it’s time, do I think I can take it. I know what he means and I am ready, I do want it. But he wants me to say it. I’m tentative, his cock is quite fat and long. He holds himself up with one arm, with the other one he rubs his cock against my ass, tells me he thinks I’m ready. I’m scared and excited and I want to try. His cock is slick from my pussy and he pushes it against the outside of my ass. I’m scared and turned on and I’m not sure if I can handle this. But the way he talks to me, the words he uses. It’s my brand of lubricant, it’s the words that make me weak and ache for him. It’s as if he’s not trying to fuck my ass for himself it’s as if he wants to see what I can take, he’s watching my every response, monitoring my reactions. I’m not sure what he gets off on more. The scared look I have or how it kind of hurts and I like it. And he makes me say it, he makes me tell him I want him in my ass. He never stops talking to me. Telling me I’m a good girl and he knows I’m going to be able to take it all. Telling me I’m such a good little whore, that I’m his and he’s going to do what he wants with me. ‘Tell me what you are’ he says to me, ‘Tell me that you’re mine and that I can do as I want, tell me how much you want this’ he breathes into my ear. I duly do. It’s so expertly timed, so accurately read – it’s absolutely what I want him to say and what makes me hotter for him and want him abjectly in that moment. And all the while he patiently pushes continuously, slowly, deeper into me. I’m not sure the whole time that I’ll actually be able to take it. I’m never able to tell how much is in, it all just feels so tight. There’s no let up in pressure and he licks and bites my neck and ear as he continues. At one point he tells me to turn around, I move my head and he kisses me, deeply, with authority. He says he knows I want this and he’s going to give it to me. I’m really not sure he’ll be able but he goes slow. It hurts in all the right ways. Sometimes it feels too much, too tight but I know I’m not going to stop and simultaneously know that he would if I asked.

He’s so patient, we haven’t stopped for lube, things have gone too far already and no one wants to go back to the start. He’s in my ear the whole time saying things I want to hear, saying things that make me wet and ache for him. It’s only now, afterwards, that I can think about what he was getting from it. Because it felt like he was doing it for me. It felt like he was only doing it the way I wanted. Whether it was like this or not, it seemed to me that he monitored my reactions the whole time, that he was looking at me and gauging my responses not his own. All his words were focused on me and not on him.
‘I wanted you to be ready for this, I wanted you to want to take my full length in your ass’ He whispers in my ear.
‘I know you’re ready for it, I know you want me deep in there, you want it all in and you want me to fuck you hard’
‘How does it feel? Do you like my fat, hard cock working its way deeper into you? Do you like the pressure?’
I do, I’m so excited and tentative at the same time. My breathing is out of control and I’m sweating, flushed and taking sharp intakes of breath. He kisses me. On my mouth, on my face and back around to my neck. At the same time tender and intense. Dominant and encouraging in the perfect combination and it’s turning me on even more.
I tell him it hurts and I like it. ‘Yeah, I know you do. I know what you want. You want me to hurt you just enough’. I’m sure I am able to convey that he’s correct but I know my words are scant. I’m out of breath with the pain, the excitement and the thrill of this. I am so supremely aroused and I love the newness of all of this.

I almost feel like I can’t take anymore, it doesn’t feel any different than from when he started but I ask him, he says it’s almost all in, just a little bit more. I’m shocked. Although it’s taken ages I’m still surprised that he’s managed to get all of himself in there without me splitting in two and without lube. Finally he says something about himself ‘God your asshole is so tight, it feels so good on my cock’ I love hearing this and he knows it, once again he makes it about me, ‘You like hearing that don’t you, that I love the feel of your tight asshole on my cock!, Well I do’. It was perfectly timed.

He asks me if I’ve ever come with a cock in my ass. A genuine query that he wants the answer to as opposed to rhetoric designed to elicit a moan. I tell him the truth that he’s only the second guy to ever be in there and no one has ever come in there. That I hated it the other times. ‘But you don’t hate it now do you?’ He says, this time rhetorically and he pushes harder into me, I let out a moan of pleasure pain. He does it again. ‘You like it when I push harder in to you, don’t you? As he slams into me with the final word. I gasp, and say yes. ‘Tell me you love my cock in your ass, tell me you want me to fuck you like this’ he whispers in my ear. Again as if this was all just something that he was doing just to see my face, when of course he has to be loving this himself? His massive, hard cock is being squeezed by my tiny asshole and I’m begging him to give me more? Of course he has to be loving it – but he doesn’t let me see that. He is only making sure that I am getting it the way I would want it. He just knows what I want and just how to get what he wants from that knowledge. He is the ultimate sexual partner. He could get me to do anything I fear.

He works me slowly and every few strokes he presses hard into me. It makes me gasp every time, a sharp intake of breath that is full of the most delicious, tight pain. He still hasn’t stopped talking to me but he punctuates his words with thrusts. I am owned.
He tells me that when he comes he’s going to pull out and come all over my back. I love this and moan at the thought.
He asks me again do I like his cock in my ass. He asks will I come. I tell him it’s not likely and I wish to god that I had something in my cunt. He asks would I like a cock in each. I buck underneath him at the thought, and breathlessly say yes. Yes I would love a cock in my cunt and a cock in my ass. ‘I know you would’ he says as he slams into me again.
He asks am I wet, I tell him I am soaking the bed but I am aching for something deep in my pussy, that my cunt is desperate for something to clench down on. He looks around the room for the toys but I confirm that they are stupidly out of reach and beg him not to pull out. There was never any danger of that.
I can’t take it anymore I need something at my pussy, so slip my hand underneath and start at it myself. ‘Oh Good Girl!’ he exclaims, ‘That’s right, touch yourself, touch yourself for me’. I need to come I tell him, the feeling of being tight is so exquisite and I’m so close. ‘Oh yeah, I want you to come for me, come for me right now. Right now as I fuck your ass deep, and, hard’. Each word a deep thrust into me. And I do, it’s more than I can take and I come so hard I hardly know where I am. And this sets him off. He fucks me harder, says my name, my real name and comes, not all over my back as planned, but deep inside me. He had lost control at the end and there was no way he was going to come anywhere else, I adored that.

We have loads more sex that night but neither of us was expecting that to happen when it did. But that’s how it always went with us. I never knew where the deviance would strike, I suppose just because anything was always possible at any given time.
We even manage another first for both of us that night. But that’s a story for another post.

It only happened the once. That was the last time we were together. But now, even if I fleetingly think about him being in my ass I get so wet. My breathing gets shallow and I shudder, that delicious shake of pleasure ripples through me. I am writing this story on the trip back to Dublin, this journey is going to be excruciating as my lips are swollen and my clit is full and ready from reliving the memory of it.
I’m glad it’s a good, hot, knicker wetting memory because I knew as we drifted off to sleep that night that it was the last time. It had to be.