Here he was, a guy who could keep up. Not only keep up but possibly outdo me. He was willing to go beyond his own limits just to do things that would turn me on, so that in return I would do what he wanted? Now go ahead and disagree with me but to me? In my mind? That’s fucking love right there. That’s ….. an openness, a respect a true partner in crime..? something, I’ve never been given and I want it more than life itself.
Ok. It’s not love. Not remotely like love but it’s my version of love. Or my version of commitment. That’s something that I would find very hard to walk away from. It was too much. He was saying all the things that were going to make me get attached, not really to him, but to the sex. It was beyond my wildest dreams. I was going to get in trouble if I continued. This kind of sex means more to me than anything else, than anything someone else might deem commitment. It’s a bond I don’t find easily and it’s one I would have to walk away from soon.
Let me back up a little because I did get fucked in the ass. For the first time in my life someone came hard, deep in my arse. And I loved it.
But I loved how he did everything.
He walked in the door and we just kissed, he had said before he got there ‘Can I just have you normally when I get to your place, can we just have each other?’. Of course we could that’s probably all we could do.
As always he was a bit early so I wasn’t at all ready, and was just out of the shower and only in a towel. He picked me up and started to devour me there. He peeled the towel off me and flung it away. It had been 5 weeks there was no time or inclination for either of us to be anything other than greedy for each other. We started there, then to the couch, the chair, the couch again. He made me come there, on the couch, with his mouth, barely having been in the door 10 minutes. Then I wanted to be upstairs. As I go to scamper up the stairs he stops at the end and says ‘Hey? You know where we’ve never done it?’ He wants it on the stairs, simply because that’s the only place in this house where he hasn’t had me. We have it there for a while. He inexplicably puts his hand over my mouth, a new thing but I like it. I feel like I can’t breathe and I enjoy that with him. He’s so deep in me, the stairs is a surprisingly good position. When he eventually takes his hand away, I can’t catch my breath but I want more. I scramble up to the bedroom. I crawl onto the bed and lie back, propped up on my elbows watching him pull the rest of his clothes off. ‘You enjoyed that didn’t you’ he smirks at me. ‘I didn’t know if you would but as soon as I did it I knew it was what you wanted’. I simply say Yes. I liked it. ‘And now? Now what do you want?’ I don’t know I say, what do you want?
‘Well in that case get over here’ he says as he grabs me by the ankles and pulls me towards him. He flips me on my side and plunges deep into me. It feels so tight and so good. I have been craving this. As I close my eyes with every stroke that he hammers into me his fingers find my ass and he works one in. I open my eyes and moan in approval. Then he gets his thumb in there and works it deeper. Again I love how he times the strokes of his cock with the pressure of his thumb, increasing the intensity. He stays at this for a while keeping me at the brink. Then he pulls out and has me flat on my stomach. He’s behind me, almost lying on me and he starts to whisper in my ear. He asks me do I want something else, his hard cock is resting just along the crack of my arse, he asks am I ready for it, do I think it’s time, do I think I can take it. I know what he means and I am ready, I do want it. But he wants me to say it. I’m tentative, his cock is quite fat and long. He holds himself up with one arm, with the other one he rubs his cock against my ass, tells me he thinks I’m ready. I’m scared and excited and I want to try. His cock is slick from my pussy and he pushes it against the outside of my ass. I’m scared and turned on and I’m not sure if I can handle this. But the way he talks to me, the words he uses. It’s my brand of lubricant, it’s the words that make me weak and ache for him. It’s as if he’s not trying to fuck my ass for himself it’s as if he wants to see what I can take, he’s watching my every response, monitoring my reactions. I’m not sure what he gets off on more. The scared look I have or how it kind of hurts and I like it. And he makes me say it, he makes me tell him I want him in my ass. He never stops talking to me. Telling me I’m a good girl and he knows I’m going to be able to take it all. Telling me I’m such a good little whore, that I’m his and he’s going to do what he wants with me. ‘Tell me what you are’ he says to me, ‘Tell me that you’re mine and that I can do as I want, tell me how much you want this’ he breathes into my ear. I duly do. It’s so expertly timed, so accurately read – it’s absolutely what I want him to say and what makes me hotter for him and want him abjectly in that moment. And all the while he patiently pushes continuously, slowly, deeper into me. I’m not sure the whole time that I’ll actually be able to take it. I’m never able to tell how much is in, it all just feels so tight. There’s no let up in pressure and he licks and bites my neck and ear as he continues. At one point he tells me to turn around, I move my head and he kisses me, deeply, with authority. He says he knows I want this and he’s going to give it to me. I’m really not sure he’ll be able but he goes slow. It hurts in all the right ways. Sometimes it feels too much, too tight but I know I’m not going to stop and simultaneously know that he would if I asked.
He’s so patient, we haven’t stopped for lube, things have gone too far already and no one wants to go back to the start. He’s in my ear the whole time saying things I want to hear, saying things that make me wet and ache for him. It’s only now, afterwards, that I can think about what he was getting from it. Because it felt like he was doing it for me. It felt like he was only doing it the way I wanted. Whether it was like this or not, it seemed to me that he monitored my reactions the whole time, that he was looking at me and gauging my responses not his own. All his words were focused on me and not on him.
‘I wanted you to be ready for this, I wanted you to want to take my full length in your ass’ He whispers in my ear.
‘I know you’re ready for it, I know you want me deep in there, you want it all in and you want me to fuck you hard’
‘How does it feel? Do you like my fat, hard cock working its way deeper into you? Do you like the pressure?’
I do, I’m so excited and tentative at the same time. My breathing is out of control and I’m sweating, flushed and taking sharp intakes of breath. He kisses me. On my mouth, on my face and back around to my neck. At the same time tender and intense. Dominant and encouraging in the perfect combination and it’s turning me on even more.
I tell him it hurts and I like it. ‘Yeah, I know you do. I know what you want. You want me to hurt you just enough’. I’m sure I am able to convey that he’s correct but I know my words are scant. I’m out of breath with the pain, the excitement and the thrill of this. I am so supremely aroused and I love the newness of all of this.
I almost feel like I can’t take anymore, it doesn’t feel any different than from when he started but I ask him, he says it’s almost all in, just a little bit more. I’m shocked. Although it’s taken ages I’m still surprised that he’s managed to get all of himself in there without me splitting in two and without lube. Finally he says something about himself ‘God your asshole is so tight, it feels so good on my cock’ I love hearing this and he knows it, once again he makes it about me, ‘You like hearing that don’t you, that I love the feel of your tight asshole on my cock!, Well I do’. It was perfectly timed.
He asks me if I’ve ever come with a cock in my ass. A genuine query that he wants the answer to as opposed to rhetoric designed to elicit a moan. I tell him the truth that he’s only the second guy to ever be in there and no one has ever come in there. That I hated it the other times. ‘But you don’t hate it now do you?’ He says, this time rhetorically and he pushes harder into me, I let out a moan of pleasure pain. He does it again. ‘You like it when I push harder in to you, don’t you? As he slams into me with the final word. I gasp, and say yes. ‘Tell me you love my cock in your ass, tell me you want me to fuck you like this’ he whispers in my ear. Again as if this was all just something that he was doing just to see my face, when of course he has to be loving this himself? His massive, hard cock is being squeezed by my tiny asshole and I’m begging him to give me more? Of course he has to be loving it – but he doesn’t let me see that. He is only making sure that I am getting it the way I would want it. He just knows what I want and just how to get what he wants from that knowledge. He is the ultimate sexual partner. He could get me to do anything I fear.
He works me slowly and every few strokes he presses hard into me. It makes me gasp every time, a sharp intake of breath that is full of the most delicious, tight pain. He still hasn’t stopped talking to me but he punctuates his words with thrusts. I am owned.
He tells me that when he comes he’s going to pull out and come all over my back. I love this and moan at the thought.
He asks me again do I like his cock in my ass. He asks will I come. I tell him it’s not likely and I wish to god that I had something in my cunt. He asks would I like a cock in each. I buck underneath him at the thought, and breathlessly say yes. Yes I would love a cock in my cunt and a cock in my ass. ‘I know you would’ he says as he slams into me again.
He asks am I wet, I tell him I am soaking the bed but I am aching for something deep in my pussy, that my cunt is desperate for something to clench down on. He looks around the room for the toys but I confirm that they are stupidly out of reach and beg him not to pull out. There was never any danger of that.
I can’t take it anymore I need something at my pussy, so slip my hand underneath and start at it myself. ‘Oh Good Girl!’ he exclaims, ‘That’s right, touch yourself, touch yourself for me’. I need to come I tell him, the feeling of being tight is so exquisite and I’m so close. ‘Oh yeah, I want you to come for me, come for me right now. Right now as I fuck your ass deep, and, hard’. Each word a deep thrust into me. And I do, it’s more than I can take and I come so hard I hardly know where I am. And this sets him off. He fucks me harder, says my name, my real name and comes, not all over my back as planned, but deep inside me. He had lost control at the end and there was no way he was going to come anywhere else, I adored that.
We have loads more sex that night but neither of us was expecting that to happen when it did. But that’s how it always went with us. I never knew where the deviance would strike, I suppose just because anything was always possible at any given time.
We even manage another first for both of us that night. But that’s a story for another post.
It only happened the once. That was the last time we were together. But now, even if I fleetingly think about him being in my ass I get so wet. My breathing gets shallow and I shudder, that delicious shake of pleasure ripples through me. I am writing this story on the trip back to Dublin, this journey is going to be excruciating as my lips are swollen and my clit is full and ready from reliving the memory of it.
I’m glad it’s a good, hot, knicker wetting memory because I knew as we drifted off to sleep that night that it was the last time. It had to be.