Top Five Most Sexiest Careers – for me based on real science and empirical evidence

Money is not a driver for me, it certainly doesn’t turn me on. I’ve never gone out with someone who had a huge amount or indeed a billionaire – like some books would suggest all girls fantasise about. Just to be clear, I don’t fantasise about it, I am not looking to be saved by someone, in the financial sense, and have all my worries disappear. I think it would make me outrageously uncomfortable. Anyway back to the point. A lot of purported careers that you may have been told are sexy for women or desirable just because they come with a big wage packet aren’t a turn on or certainly aren’t for me. Ditto some others that TV, films and other media have claimed. For example I would not find a doctor attractive at all. AT ALL. I’m not saying I wouldn’t consider it, of course I would but the fact of him being a doctor is a minus point, not a plus, and something to be gotten over. But I’m an equal opportunities ride and I will of course see past a minor thing like that. Case and point; The Cop, possibly my least sexy profession. And I think we can agree that we’re all glad that I did. I’m just saying I wouldn’t hold it against someone for long.

So, here are my top five sexy careers that make me swoon, fantasise (in ways I’m not always proud of) and occasionally make me do things that rational, day-time Abbi wouldn’t. These professions get me into trouble. Some make no sense but I will try to put sense on them. And some, even though in my head I don’t like them, they are on the list because the fact is I have succumbed to the charms of boys in that career, one too many times for comfort.

In ascending order:
No. 5 – DJ
Oh DJs, I hate that I like them. I hate that I have done outrageous things and at the same time I love it too. This is the profession that I know I should stay away from but I have not been able. I have this theory and to be fair to me it has played out well. To be a DJ or at least one that I would consider good, you need a certain presence and certain patience. You need to be able to read a crowd, tease them, give them what they want and also be brave enough to give them what they don’t want or expect and take them somewhere new. And every now and then, when they’re not expecting it, throw in a bit of cheese. This makes me fancy DJs. Now let’s be clear, I’m not up at the box, hanging around like an eejit waiting to get noticed. That only happens after I’ve had said DJ and absolutely want them again. You see why I’m not so thrilled that I find them attractive! But at least I can laugh at myself and my predilections. And it no longer seems a threat, I seem to have grown out of it for now. My favourite DJ would do outlandish things to get me to suck his cock, and I only dying to do it, always appreciated the effort he went to. We were incorrigible but alas we never got to do the one thing that was top of the list; me under the DJ box sucking him off while he played to a full crowd. Yeah, yeah judge away!


No. 4 – Journalist/Writer
I love people who are good with words. I adore someone who can convey things in an email just as well as in person, and the person who can make me come with texts…? Sigh.
So anyone who gets to do this for a living is probably my kind of person. Or at least my sex-brain thinks they are. I find it mesmerizingly sexy to be able to be creative all day with words and of course as always it’s intelligence more than anything that turns me on. I equate being able to turn me on with words as being of a superior intelligence. This again has worked out well for me regardless of there being any grain of truth in it. If you can write, have some sense of personal hygiene and can demonstrate even an inkling of your wordsmith-y ways, then I’m probably interested. And Jesus, if you pass me a well written note…. I’d probably follow you anywhere.


No. 3 – Dentist
Ok this one is my most goldigger-y and I freely admit that.
I think dentist is an attractive profession because I also have an obsession with my teeth. They’re quite straight and very white; owing to years of orthodontics paid for equally by the state, my parents and emotionally by me. But I would like not to have to pay for the amount of ordinary upkeep-dentistry that I would like to be able to have. I know, what a free loader. But that’s not the only reason. Dentists make a decent living and unlike doctors can pretty much decide their own hours i.e. no 80 hour shifts. And as always, I’d imagine that to gain the qualifications necessary to be a dentist, one would need to be intelligent enough and to be any good at it, quite patient. All these things add up to attractiveness to me: has a brain, is intelligent, has time and means to be getting up to what I fantasise about in the chair. And other places.
*An acquaintance, who I revealed this to at a party one night looked at me blankly and said ‘You could never have a dentist, you wouldn’t be able to get one’. He walked off before explaining why and I was quite put out for the rest of the night, and more than a little insulted. I did corner him later and his explanation was that like gardaí and teachers/nurses, allegedly, dentists only do dentists. Who knew. This could explain their drop back to no. 3 on this list.


No. 2 – Computer – things
Now. I’m going to embarrass myself and boys of IT that I have had the pleasure to know. I’m not sure what end of ‘computers’ that I’m strictly drawn to. There’s been localisation, programming, software and other things I don’t really know about. But there’s something about a faux geek that does it for me. Or even a real geek for that matter. Again, knowledge equals sexy to me. And knowledge about stuff I don’t know? Hell yeah. What’s that? You can sort my laptop? You can get my parents’ wifi fixed, you can get the printer working? YOU can RULE the world with this sorcery – or maybe just mine. So this just does it for me. Also, there just seems to be a dark humoured cynicism that seems to go with boys who know IT and I also swoon all over that shit.
This along with NO.5 above is one that I have found through experience rather than decision. Guys I’ve been with who have ‘done computers’ for a living have been great in bed, so much so that I now expect anyone who (in the process of chatting me up) tells me this is their job to be automatically Abbi compliant and I get quite excited and I make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.


No. 1 – Architect
Ah. Here it is. My all-time absolute favourite career that I find sexy for oh, so very many reasons. And just to remind you that I’m not proud (or possibly even remotely right) about all of them. I could be categorically wrong about a lot of them because….. I’ve never had an architect (unless we’re counting that one time me and my one and only architect friend were drunk and kissed for like 30 seconds – and we’re not counting that cos she was only teasing me, the big fecking tease) But I’m glad she came up because for as long as I know her, Architect Lady, I’ve been swooning over her and joking that if she was a guy I’d want to marry her. And to her credit she never misses an opportunity to exploit this. Any time she wants me to do something that I’m wavering on she’ll break out the old chestnut that she feels like she might ‘turn’ and that if I don’t go out with her on this occasion it might be some other girl’s arms she falls into. She is only mostly joking about this. But the point is that it is her, her persona and character that I feel defines an architect. Yes she is hands down the most intelligent person I know, her logic is infallible and you can’t beat her in an argument, she’s too calm and sharp witted. She’s knowledgeable and practical while at the same time being creative and artistic. In a guy this translates as: is manly and knows about buildings but has also got a creative design side and might be able to draw and tell the difference between colours.
It’s a stressful job, so I hear, and you need to be calm, organised and persuasive again all traits that are knicker-wettingly swoonsome for me. Now I know I’m not basing this on anything at all tangible and as I’ve said I’ve never actually had an architect and here I am, practically beatifying them. They could all be a bunch of pricks. But then so could any Doctor, Fireman, nurse, or teacher – or whatever profession people fetishize. This is the one I like to think about and fantasise about living with in my glass atrium-ed house with our two dogs. And until I get that fantasy smashed I’ll be in the corner, always thinking about an architect giving it to me. Is that so terrible?


Top Five (shocking) Careers that I don’t find attractive
Sports star (any sport)
Cop/Fireman/Army – any ‘hero’ or uniform profession

I know, shocking right, as most girls seem to have these as their top fantasies, what can I say. But let me reassure you that I am indeed a chick because I do indeed dig scars.

But just to clarify, your job doesn’t turn me on, what you do for a living isn’t important to me. Who you are is.
I’m not going to drop my knickers for someone just because they tell me they’re an architect – but if I had to think about a profession that seems sexy to me, that’s the one that springs to mind. Or if you do happen to be chatting to me and it is revealed that you’re an architect…? Well actually I’ll probably act too excited and you’ll most likely walk away to chat to someone normal. Which is what I can only assumed has happened every time.

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