Jobs You Might Think Are Hot That I Do Not

I keep going to write a piece about the things that girls are supposed to find hot, and that I categorically do not. But I’m not sure how long a post I can make that?

It mostly seems to centre on either uniforms, or music. With side lines into sports and medicine…. which just ends up at careers as opposed to hobbies or traits. So here here it is – occupations that just don’t do it for me.

 

Ok. I’ve done a list of jobs I find hot which you can read about here. Incidentally I have since had an architect and it was very fucking hot. The sex I was not disappointed in but him? I truly, deeply was. So I might have to revise that list but not until I find a hotter profession. (Nope, sorry it’s probably always gonna be Architect; manly building know-how and engineering stuff plus artistic creativity and styley taste… so fucking hot. The search continues. Until then, can you IT guys please step up to the plate? It’s kinda been a while)

 

Anyway, this is about the things I don’t find hot. But that most girls seems to. I might have explanations for some of them, others? Well they may just be buried in my psyche.

 

Musicians

I get it, being great at something is hot. Being in a band is mesmerising and it’s attractive. Watching someone own a stage and belt out something that speaks to your core? I fully appreciate the premise. Except… like Fr. Dougal McGuire I think you should never meet your heroes, you’ll only be disappointed.  And anyone I think is an amazing song writer – well I just want to imagine them as that, and not the asshole they might be or the rubbish friend they maybe are? I want the distance, I want the mystery. I think we should have less knowledge of our heroes’ lives.

But in addition to that I think I’ve done my time as a teenager dating musicians and singers and utterly seeing through it in the end. It may have scarred me a little. And lastly there’s the ultimate dilemma of seeing someone in a band – well, if you care about them, then you want them to do well. You want them to succeed with their talent. Except that then means that they would need to be away more. Out late most nights. Not available at weekends. Maybe away on tour… you see where I’m going with this.

It’s hard to maintain a relationship with that going on. Or indeed believe that you’re the only one who those songs are about ….

But on the other side? Do you want to see them fail just so they’re more available to you? To not progress, to be broken by the thing they love so much? Of course you don’t. If you possess a heart and not a swinging stone, I hope.

Either way neither option seems like a great deal to me and it serves to turn me off.

If I’m at a wedding or a party and someone can play something, or sing amazingly – it just doesn’t do it for me. I don’t find that person more attractive than I did before. I’m certainly not more keen to sleep with them. If indeed I was keen in the first place.

Anyway, that’s my attempt at trying to explain why I don’t swoon as soon as someone tells me they’re in a band. Big swinging mickey, you’ll have to find something else to get my knickers wet, that one’s just not what’s going to work for me.

(I wish you and your band no specific ill will, I just have no interest in it)

 

Caveat: None of the above statements negate me finding people in bands attractive. Let me explain, I don’t have any desire to sleep with anyone famous but if I met someone who happened to be in a band, as a secondary job or who played/sang as a hobby  – this doesn’t mean I wouldn’t sleep with them or go out with them or generally want to fuck them. Of course I would. It’s just not a trump card.

 

Useless info: I did go out with someone who could sing and play guitar and he never mentioned it. One night, round at a friend’s there was suddenly a guitar (how many annoying times has that happened) and he knocked out a tune and I was blown away. Later that year at a party in my parents’ house where everyone had to sing he was pointed at randomly and he belted out such an amazing rendition of ‘I’ve Got You, Under My Skin’. Again I had no idea he could sing, let alone that well and that kind of shocked me. But I’d have been just as happy if he was shit. What I think I liked was finding out something about him that I didn’t know. And how he never mentioned it. But what I really, really liked was him not folding under the scrutiny of my whole famliy, and just taking his turn and singing.

 

 

Doctors

Jesus why is this one bandied about so much. It feels so 1950s in both its gold digger connotations (i.e. marrying well) and its lack of acknowledgement for women’s own career trajectories. That somehow going out with a doctor is some status symbol. But it’s not just that. I don’t find doctors hot because so many of them fall into two categories; the super arrogant ones and the super nerdy ones. And I am a huge, HUGE fan of the right type of arrogance and an even bigger far of the nerds. (God I love nerds, mostly computer nerds, or maths nerds or science nerds… uunnghhh) but there is the right type of arrogance and then there’s the kind of arrogance that I think you might actually need to be a great doctor, a sort of god complex if you will. This is great if you’re the patient but not so great if you’re the partner. And there’s a kind of one dimensional nerdiness that doctors seem to emit that I find the opposite to most other nerdiness.

Caveat: Ok, to the doctors that I have met or who have tried to chat me up, there seems to have been an inordinate amount of the bad kind of arrogance and the non-hot kind of nerdiness.

Useless info: I once walked away, laughing from a doctor at a bar as he used his career as a pick up line. And I also once met a doctor (I was scoring his friend, who wasn’t a doctor and was rubbish in the sack) who lied about his profession because, it seems, I was not the only girl who found it a turn off …..

 

Cops/Firemen/Army Officers

Any of these hero type or uniform jobs – none of them seem hot to me. I’ll just admit that my dad was in the army so that would rule out army straight away. I’ll also mention that he was in the medical corps before I go ahead and slag off army jobs. Because I don’t believe in armies and any necessity for them outside of natural disasters and times of crisis for their own country. Feel free to disagree with me but anyone who wants to do tours of duty or (if you’re in the Irish Army) peace keeping missions to The Lebanon etc then I don’t think our core values are aligned. And for that alone I don’t find that attractive.

Cops sort of fit into this bracket also. I don’t like the mentality that goes with someone who wants to be part of that. I also think it would be super difficult to date someone who works shift (I am saying that as someone who’s two best mates work shift and I hate it).

And Firemen are the same. Working shift and being away and maybe being in danger. I hate all those things. But what I really don’t like, and this is true for all the professions mentioned in this section; there seems to be a certain type that goes in for these roles. A type that either wants or needs to be the hero and I’ve just always found it a bit of a turn off. I know that I am generalising here and I know that this can’t be the case for everyone in these jobs. I also know that they do great work and are to be commended for it. But as a thing that as a girl I’m supposed to fetishize? I’ll pass thanks, it’s just not for me.

Caveat: Obviously I was well able to see past the uniform and happily had a fantastic time with the one and only cop that I had the pleasure to know intimately. It even got to the point where I was into the uniform. The cuffs never needed any break in time, I was always fine with those, more so because they were real.

 

Useless info: The night I met the cop I nearly didn’t sleep with him when he admitted that’s what he did for a living. I’m very glad I give every eejit with the right twinkle in their eye a fighting chance. It was so eternally worth it.

 

 

 

Sports Stars

 

I’m not sure I even want to get into this one. Surely it’s self-explanatory? Yes, I watch rugby and I think someone is impressive or GAA and I marvel at the skill and dedication and the Jesus Christ, bone crushing thighs. BUT. I don’t want to sleep with them. I generally don’t want to sleep with anyone I haven’t talked to. Which I know no one believes but it is actually the case. I like to look, and I surely love to ogle and objectify but I don’t fantasise about sleeping with anyone unless I’ve had a conversation with them. As with band members, I’d rather not meet my heroes and have this illusion shattered. Admiration from a far is enough for me.

But what I really find unappealing is the scandal, the notoriety the endless opportunities for getting up to no good. The focus on just one aspect of your life and how dedicated you have to be to it – but also how dedicated everyone else in your life has to be to it too. How it’s almost one dimensional and everything takes a back seat to it.

Am I impressed by it? Sure. But do I think it’s hot. Nope.

 

Caveat: Yes I love that there are people out there that dedicate their lives to sports that I love and get to watch. But that again is not something that makes my pants wet and my cunt ache with the need to fuck someone who does this for a living.

 

Useless info: I have done it. First time was GAA second time was rugby. I am not proud of myself. Yes they were big names that could be googled if you weren’t familiar with either sport. And no I’m not going to let anyone take guesses.

 

 

 

What I’m trying to say is, I’m not so superficial as to write someone off because of what they do but more importantly what I’m saying is that not everything that we’re told about what turns girls on is true for every girl. You can’t possibly know what every girl will be in to. And neither can I. This is just a bunch of things that I am tired of having fetishized across every media because ‘sexy’ is not universal. Nothing is. But could we broaden the spectrum a little? Please?

 

 

 

I’m sure there are loads of things guys are told are hot and they are supposed to find super sexy but that you in particular don’t. Anyone want to share?

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