Real Neat Blog


The lovely Charlie over at  charlieinthepool nominated me for this. I don’t have anyone left to nominate as everyone has been nominated already.

Charlie is lovely and is far more forthcoming and brave with her boobs. Check her out, you might like her.

Here’s her twitter also: @charlieinthe

 How important a part does masturbation play in your life?

Em, not really to be honest. Sex is really important to me but not so much masturbation – I wouldn’t say I’m great at it! Well, I can obviously get myself off but not unless I’m super aroused to begin with. And usually that takes interaction with another person – but sometimes, it can just be texts, or thankfully when I’m reading some erotica or reliving the sex I’ve had myself then I will need to relieve myself and can do so in about 40 seconds.

But I can go ages without touching myself – maybe weeks.


What is the single greatest benefit that blogging provides to you

I’d say the benefit has been confidence in myself as a creative and a reinforced knowledge that I’m not just a cog in a corporate wheel, who sold out on what she really wanted to do because she was too busy having sex to figure out what it was she wanted to do!

Is that lame? Well unfortunately it’s the truth. I love that I finally have a creative outlet that I absolutely can’t do without. It makes everything else more bearable.


How do you react when you get sent photos of penises?

I love penises. And I mostly love getting pictures of them. I won’t ever solicit them or overtly even hint that I like being sent them. Because I don’t want to get into a ‘rate my penis’ situation or worse the ‘does my penis turn you on, tell me what you’d like to do it’ brigade. If someone wants to send me a dick pic then I am very happy to look. But I’m not happy to converse all day with you about it and I don’t owe you anything…. She says, to all those who want to send me pics. Do so, simply because you want to. And please don’t put them on my timeline. They’re for private only.

(P.S. they are rarely a disappointment)


Have you experienced any negativity as a direct result of blogging? If so, what is it and how did you overcome it?

No. Not specifically. I haven’t had any bullying or nasty comments. There have been some over enthusiastic guys who seem to think that I am solely here for their entertainment and I’ve had to block them. Or the ones who are enraged that I (shockingly) won’t meet them. But all in all it’s been a great experience. There’s only been one thing that saddened me and made me feel confused. Probably more so because it was from another girl – and so her claims of being sex positive and pro women all fall flat now.

I’d say the worse thing has been my friends’ new found ‘bored’ faces when I try and say anything about the blog now. They’ve lost interest and don’t listen to me! (boo hoo hoo….. I am really kiddin here)


If you could change one thing about you or your life, what would it be and why?

Hmmmm I want to say; I’d like my house renovated again. Or be an eternal size 8 (size 4 for you yanks) Or be the perfect D cup. Or have gotten a masters by now. But really, my house is lovely, the tits are fine, my body isn’t that bad (size 12) and I have a good career despite the glaring lack of a masters. What I don’t have is a partner in crime and that is the one thing that I would change.

(wait, we were talking about hypothetical things that a fairy god mother could fix right?)


How would you describe your writing process? Exactly how do you come up with your subject matter and compose your post?

I have often ended up at the wrong place because I was writing a piece in my head as I was cycling across the city. Mostly I think when I’m having sex (having great sex) about how I will write about it. Sometimes I’m thinking ‘this is great sex, but there’s no story to it’.

So I’m not a great writer, I can only write about how I feel or what I did. There’s none of it fiction which wounds me some days. I wish I had that skill but alas I do not.

Sometimes people will ask me questions on Twitter, or send me emails and ask me to write about certain topics, and like I said, if I’ve any experience of the thing, then I will.

And other weeks, I’m just balls out fucking enraged by something and I have to address it and get it all out.

But when there’s nothing and I can’t think, I have to go back to the old adage; open laptop, sit down, write.

It really isn’t complicated. It also might not produce anything good! But you have to force yourself to sit down and even if shit comes out, you need to get that out. Like running an old tap. Either way, if you sit around waiting for inspiration it won’t happen. You have to have discipline and … believe.

(these two things are utterly impossible for me some days as even Joyce says those days are all: No, pen, no ink, no table, no room, no quiet, no inclination)

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