Guest Piece – Sexy Pregnant…? Damn Right

I got sent this a while back, I’ve been waiting for a time to post it. Now is probably the time. My sister is due her baby tomorrow. This is my favourite sister. We are inordinately close. And thankfully it’s mutual. If you’ve ever seen Broad City and how Ilana is obsessed with Abbi (ha ha) then that’s how we are with each other. except I’m the bigger perv, but only marginally. And it’s hard not to be, around her, her boobs are amazing.

Anyway, since she got pregnant she is an even more radiant angel. If that was even possible. She was pretty fit beforehand so it was no surprise that her body took to pregnancy well. Her silhouette stayed the same, her face, legs arms… all normal. But her already phenomenal boobs got bigger and higher and her belly swelled, while still keeping the outline of her hips. Fuck she looked great, and she was happily able to embrace it. Every time she met she’d ask if I wanted to see the boobs. Damn right I did. And the rest. She looked glorious. She looks glorious.

So I fully appreciated and absolutely loved when I got sent this piece from a husband who adored the changes too. Even though pregnancy is not something I have any real desire to experience, I can still appreciate it’s glory. And glory is what it is.


Ok so bear with me here. This may get a bit uncomfortable for some of you. I have to say, after many years of keeping it to myself and with the very real possibility of being stoned in the street: pregnant women are deeply sexy. Deeply, profoundly, unendingly sexy. Amazingly, desperately, passionately sexy.

I’m not talking posed, pale, depressing readers wives fiction on some grotty “specialist” website. I’m talking about yummy mothers and mothers to be. Perhaps my reaction is primal. I will always give up my seat on the bus and get quite angry when others don’t do the same. I’ve offered to carry shopping, opened doors, run back and opened doors. Reparked my car and run back and opened doors. It’s the right thing to do and has nothing to do with sex. We are not talking about lust here.
Something most people know is that pregnant women experience huge emotional and hormonal shifts. This can result in some of the more unpleasant physical things some women endure in pregnancy. But it can also make them horny. More horny than they have ever experienced. It can produce a longing and desire for a man that’s so strong it can drive them to distraction. Long list full emails appear in your inbox at all times of the day. Requests for you to come home early. Requests for seconds. Demands for seconds. Approaches that in other contexts would constitute serious sexual assault. For those of us who have been on the receiving end it’s a stunning experience.
Perhaps it’s the knowledge that pregnant women may have been participating in lots of sex. Some women get pregnant easily. Some take years. Imagine all those hours of sweaty, desperate, frantic sex. The glimpse of a tight belly peeking out from under a tight t-shirt can be as sexy as the flash of stocking tops. And there are the boobs. Those soft engorged breasts cannot be ignored. You cannot deny cleavage is sexy.
Pregnant women glow. They just seem to emit this beautiful swelling glow. Have you never suddenly noticed a girl in the office only when she became pregnant? Seen how beautiful she really is? Many people find strong women sexy. There can be nothing stronger than a woman carrying her unborn child. The fortitude and effort it takes. The body changes and the pain she ensures. They even smell better. Sometimes the sexyness is lost, amongst the domestic rubble of coping, worrying, sleepless nights. But mums and mums to be you are sexy. More than you will ever realise.
What’s not to love, eh?
So there will soon be another MacCranky in the world. Actually there will soon be two as another of my sisters is also pregnant. Hopefully all goes well.

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