The Big Thing I Hate About Dicks

I’m probably not supposed to say this. It’s probably not at all helpful or encouraging. But I can’t be nice all the time. In fact I’m not nice most of the time so I might as well say it. And not saying it doesn’t do anyone any good. (actually saying doesn’t either but here we are)

The only thing I ever want a cock to be – is hard.

Sure some are prettier than others, some are smoother, straighter more parallel. They’re bigger, fatter or anything else you prefer. But none of these is anything I’m crossing my fingers for.

I’m just hoping for it to be so fucking hard. Not kind of hard, but iron bar hard.

That is all I need.

Why Abbi, that’s not so bad, in fact that sounds surprisingly like some patronisingly good news? We feel duped.

Well, no. If we look at it a bit closer it’s actually quite harsh.


See there are a lot of times when I’m supposed to be patient (and by golly I am. I’m very sexually mannerly) and I hate it. I am forcing it. I am of course not going to make anything worse by drawing attention to it, but it’s not a turn on. In fact it’s a turn off. I can only imagine how hard it is for gay guys; a softening dick must be a domino effect?


I’m probably not being clear so let me give you some examples of things I don’t enjoy. I don’t mind a soft dick in my hand, that I can get nice and hard from scratch, lovely. And I love getting a soft dick in my mouth and making it grow, fantastic. But what I don’t want, is a nice hard dick, that I’ve grown, that then gets a condom on and goes all soft. How disappointing. I especially hate it when that soft dick is then squished into me; like play doh.

(you’re hating me right now aren’t you?)

I get that condoms are a mood killer and a sensitivity killer and are horrible compared to my lovely warm mouth. And that you aren’t at all happy about it going soft either and that you can’t really do anything about it. I do fully get that. But I still don’t enjoy a squishy cock being shoved into me to make it hard. While the rational part of me knows it’s not anything that I’ve done, I’m afraid my ego won’t accept that and thinks that I’ve somehow turned you off or did something to make your dick no longer want to play nice with my cunt. Like warring kids being forced together, that eventually get along.

But I’ll get over it, and I will never mention it and I will just keep hoping that it will get better if we get to condom ditching point.



The other one I hate is pretty similar in situation but I hate it for a different reason.

I love being fucked straight after someone has made me come with their mouth. While I’m writhing away, if you can hold me down and penetrate me I will still be clenching and the insertion of your cock can start a further orgasm for me. Plus my cunt just aches to be filled and stretched after oral. Now I’ve told a few guys this. And why wouldn’t I, communication is important and having this info would benefit both of us, surely? I’d certainly like someone to give me anything near as helpful as that.

But on a number of occasions this hasn’t worked out so well.  Sometimes it has been the stopping for condoms that has done it. But other times….. well, it’s just not been hard at all.

Now boys, if you are not hard after bringing me to screaming orgasm that is really fine. It is. Sometimes it takes a while so maybe you lost your own arousal concentrating on the task. I know, that happens to me too sometimes when I’m giving head. But for the love of god, please don’t then force a limp dick into me just because you think I need it.


I mean sure, it’s nice. And I do enjoy being fucked straight after but let’s not lose sight of what just happened; you just made me come! And that is enough. In fact that’s all you have to do.

While I think (and hope) it’s meant well, I really don’t want you to fuck me because I’m a greedy bitch and you feel that I won’t be satisfied if you don’t. Just give me a few minutes to compose myself and I will be back paying you and your bits as much attention as you need.

But whatever you do, please don’t ruin the tail end of my orgasm by making me think you didn’t enjoy eating me, or that I don’t make you hard, or that you feel obliged to fuck me – because that is what will go through my head.


Of course I’d like to think that making me come would turn you on and get you hard, if not for the whole of the task but for the finish at least. But it’s not a prerequisite or a deal breaker.



Now sometimes a soft dick being roughly shoved into me as it is rapidly hardening is great. Like when I’m drunk but still awake and horny as fuck and you’re maybe half asleep. That’s fine, I’ve just woken you and you had no idea this was coming. Or I wake up before you in the morning and want it straight away. These occasions are fine. But habitually it being soft going in? That’s robbing me of one of my favourite sensations; a rock solid, iron bar hard cock slowly sliding into me. That controlled feeling of solidness, pushing into me. Firm from the very tip, parting my lips and stretching me until the base is swallowed. This I crave.


I know this can’t be helped. I want to reiterate that. I know no one is going soft on purpose just to ruin things for me. I’m not insinuating that at all. I’m highlighting that the best thing about a cock, the thing that makes me fall in love with it, worship it – is its ability to get and stay hard around me. That’s the attribute that I most seek in a cock to love.

Yep, fat, long and smooth would be nice too but really? All I want is a hard dick.

I don’t need a big dick, I just need a hard one.

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