I Am Now A Prostitute

No I’m naht. But it seems I could be. This is the way of the world now, apparently.

In case you missed it, as you very well might, I can’t imagine anyone is glued to my Twitter feed night and day, but if you missed it, there was an incident on Monday morning that I shared. I was offered £6,000 sterling to spend one night with a guy. That’s €8,429 Euro or $9,067 US Dollars for you yanks who might be reading. Just so we are crystal on how much. (Apologies to anyone using a different currency – I’m just looking after the ones who talk to me – but shout and I’ll include you in any other fiscally themed stories)

That’s a fuck lot of cash to me. I’m not loaded and again as my Twitter feed would advise you of, I love eating and nice shoes. And booze. Damn I love booze and swanky booze too. Alas I am but a peasant girl, trying to make her way in the city with no trust fund or rich boyfriend or inheritance – you know, like 99% of the rest of us. I could always do with an extra €8k.

€8,429 is an almost inconceivable amount for me to think anyone would pay for one night. Mostly because it would take me several months to make that and I couldn’t see me blowing it on one night doing anything. So I can’t say that I wasn’t very intrigued. The journo/curiosity cat/pseudo psychologist in me just couldn’t let it lie. What would drive someone to do that? What kind of person would? Who would have that kind of money? What was he expecting for that cash? Had this ever worked before?

 

So I asked him. I have some of the answers to these questions you’ll be glad to hear.

 

First off, let’s just make one huge assumption and go with it; let’s just assume that he is who he purports to be and all the answers are as if this is a given.*

 

Unfortunately I didn’t get the first question answered – I don’t know what drives a person to do this; proposition an ordinary girl on a dating app. And I am an ordinary girl, he propositioned me, as me, not Abbi. So he did it not knowing that I have a high sex drive and am the cleanest filthy bitch you might find. So that not being answered is a bit of a let down.

 

What I do know, and you can draw your own conclusions from this, he is a self-made millionaire (remember what we agree at that start, we’re accepting these things as a given), he owns several high end sports cars that cost more than my house, a lear jet and is of Middle eastern heritage even though he’s British.

And – actually quite physically attractive. I’m just saying, under normal circumstances – I might have.

 

So it seems clear that someone like that, might just have that kinda money to throw around. But why didn’t he just get an escort? This I did get answered. Because he didn’t want the practised enthusiasm of a professional, he wanted a real girl, who would do what he was looking for. Someone who might be into it a little bit. Someone who wasn’t jaded from it.

I can see how that makes sense. But I’d have preferred if he’d said he got off on the kink of talking an ordinary girl into it. I feel that was the implication but I could be losing the run of myself there with the theory.

 

His opener was ‘£6,000 for one night’. I responded with ‘€8,000 in my currency, what’s your point?’ and he came back saying he’d pay me £6,000 for one night, cash up front. I countered with, for one night where you murder me. To which he said ‘No, just one night in a top luxury hotel, where we can have a wild night’

So it was to be money up front….? A night in a luxury hotel?

It’s all a bit Indecent Proposal, isn’t it?

 

I asked him how often this approach has worked for him, he said twice. I asked was it worth it and what made him pick me.

I was picked, so it seemed because he thought I was hot, despite this proposition turning out well only 50% of the times he’s done it.

 

Of course then I wanted to know what made it worth it and more importantly – not worth €8 thousand Euro.

Sex, you will not be surprised to find was the answer. One was a great fuck and one wasn’t. Of course sex is relative, being wild is relative so I wanted to know what consisted of a good fuck for him. To help out I helpfully suggested some parameters to see where this was on the spectrum. I said, and I quote:

 

Yes but surely that’s relative?

                For one person a good fuck

                could just be the inclusion of a

                blow job (and swallowing) For

                another it could be facials and

                anal and being punched in the

                face …

 

                It’s a broad spectrum

 

 

 

He said he was not into the punching and asked if I swallowed. I asked was that implying that he was into all the rest on the list? And that’s where the conversation ended, I’m sorry to say. I wasn’t nearly done figuring this guy out.

 

And that was Monday morning for me. I’m not sure what to think. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I think I’d be more flattered if it was Abbi who was offered it – as I suppose someone is buying a sort of ‘brand’ then. Or at the very least a notion of a fantasy. I could understand someone reading this blog and wanting to experience the fantasy – which is this insatiable girl who you already know what she’s into and how far she’ll go.

It’s not the truth by the way but I could see how that could become a thing for someone; all they read is the salacious bit of me and they can construct a fantasy around it, without any of the reality of who I am. My imperfections, my failings, my ordinariness. And please trust me when I tell you I got tonnes of ordinary just lying around.

 

And yet – a tiny part of me is more flattered that someone who doesn’t know this side of me, would think to see me in that light. That someone would think to offer that to real me.

That someone would get off on corrupting real me…. as I am. That real me came across as alluring enough to fit that bill and be covetable in such a direct way…

That’s a bit sad isn’t it? But unfortunately it’s true.

 

In other news, for the second time I was approached by a company asking me to promote their site. This company was a lot more polite than the last one, and it seems had actually read a bit of my blog. Either way, I turned them down. I’m not here to sell anything. Including myself so it seems.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Yes, of course he could be a spoofer. A lying fantasist with time to waste and having robbed the photos. Which is most likely the case.

 

 

**That said, when a lingerie company comes and gives me all the free knicks and bras I will most certainly say yes please and yoink that offer straight out of their hands. And if any of you sex companies are reading, if you send me underwear, I will wear it, photograph myself in it and post it here. With a fair and honest review.

And I’m not for sale, I either want to give it to you gladly or I don’t want to give it at all. That goes for boys ……

 

 

and Lingerie companies – I will model your stuff FOR FREE! You don’t have to pay me! Just send me the knickers….

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