Things I Fucking Love

Here’s a list of things I like. I did one where I listed all the things I don’t like – many of the things people tend to love, like attending weddings, Spotify, lamb, peaches – you know, typical abominable stuff.

Anyway again with the view that my version is skewed here are some things I like that people may not agree with. But things that I have an inordinate fondness for.

Really well done toast – I probably don’t mind if it’s burnt

Bunsen cheese burgers – bloody as hell, yeah I want to dip my crispy chips in the blood and make no apologies for it

Chinese chips – I really prefer them to the chipper. All crispy and dry and cooked with the spring rolls. Always consistently good.

Avocados – I love these to the point that I feel sorry for people who don’t have avocados in their life.

Reading articles by journalists I rarely agree with and borderline hate; Katie Glass in the Sunday Times – the woman is a tool, but I always read her. It’s good to know what others think, even when you don’t agree.

Tunnocks Tea cakes – and no other. NO OTHER. I am severely unimpressed with and will never plumb for an ordinary tea cake in a selection of treats presented. Unless it is in that silver and red foil. Then I want 6.

Eggs – all kinds of eggs except fried, I won’t eat those. Or crème eggs, yuck

The combined smell of Ariel and Lenor

Really good breakfast tea – or at the very least Barry’s

When I see a kid give up their seat for an older person, without being asked

A bottle of Huia Sauvignon Blanc

2 bottles of Huia

Saucy underwear on stupid and pointless Tuesdays

Cycling my bike when I’m too sore from having been fucked and knowing all about it – I love reminding myself with every bump in the road

Getting butter all over The Sunday Times

Just The Sunday Times

Every single song by The Stone Roses – but especially Sally Cinnamon and Ten Story Love Song

When my mother acts like a mother and says the exact right thing and I get to be the child and not the parent for a brief second.

Broad City – I love Ilana’s obsession with Abby, I’m afraid I am that obsessed with my BFF and my sister and they are mostly stoic about it.

Good wine glasses

Finding out someone I fancy doesn’t smoke

Guys who aren’t squeamish

Guys who can identify as feminist and don’t see an issue with it

Having a cock in my mouth – I love this so much more than things I’m supposed to. Possibly more than members of my family.

Dublin’s Fair City – one of the true loves of my life, I adore this place

Seafood – all of it!

3fe coffee

Cloud Picker coffee

Tom Ford perfumes – namely Costa Azzurra and Neroli Portofino. Although I might ditch them as I’m not sure my means can support this extravagnat habit

Halloween! I fecking love it. But know this; if you dress sexy for my party, you are not coming in as you have wholly missed the point. 2, Halloween is not American, we exported it and we’ve been at it for 1,000s of years. The Irish word for November is Samhain which means Halloween. (it’s pronounced Sow-hin, they butchered it in one of the Halloween movies but still, at least they gave it a shout out.)

Downton Abbey

Kerrygold

Trainspotting – it’s one of my favourite books

Leopard Print – I fear the day I’m over 40 and can no longer wear it without hearing ‘Get aahht of ma pub’ in my head.

High heels, and by the way 2 inches is not a high heel, get to fuck with that notion. 4 inches and over is a high heel

Boys that are loads taller than me so I can wear high heels

Nike work out gear – keep your sweast shop lecture, I don’t care

Getting waxed – dunno when or how but I actually like it now. I like all the sensations that go with it; the heat, the pain, the slightly swollen tenderness after… I’m into it

Fallon’s Pub – down by St Patrick’s Cathedral

Eating healthy Monday to Friday then eating a load of chicken balls at the weekend

People who get my first name right – who get it all by themselves, cos they’ve listened to others say it and have picked it up.  No schooling, no explanation, just got it right and made no issue

Rugby – the most decent of sports and the only one I’ve any interest in

My surname – how it sounds, what it means, how easy it is to pronounce yet how uncommon it is. South East Asia, South America, China, Japan, Europe and The UK – no one ever pronounces it incorrectly. It’s always been such a salve to my stupid first name.

A guy with a windsor knot in a well-fitting suit – not just any suit, and not just any old tie, it is all negated if the suit is ill fitting and it has a school boy’s knot

Sour cream and onion Tayto Ripples – the large bag

Sparkling water – I go through 2 litres a day

Today FM

Electric Picnic

The Leprechaun Museum – just go

The Journal.ie

Welsh accents

Not wearing pyjamas – I fucking hate loungewear or “comfy” clothes, stick your pjs up your hole. I will wear knickers & maybe a t-shirt if it’s cold.

Roger Moore as James Bond – yeah, yeah I’m ready for the backlash

JK Rowling

The Atlantic Ocean – trumps the Irish Sea any day. Sorry East coast, but the west is better

Breton tops

My red beret

Hazel eyes – I know everyone says blue, which are nice, but hazel is my favourite

When I find out a boy I like has no interest in Soccerball

Cycling round Dublin when it’s really early or kinda late – while it’s quiet, I feel like I’m in my own private Guinness ad

Taking sneaky half days off work to go afternoon drinking

People with excellent grammar

A buachaill with a cúpla focail as gaeilge. Words like ‘aghaidh’ and ‘suí síos’ and ‘cailín dána’

Running my hand over a freshly shaved head

The hope that a guy I want to sleep with may one day wax himself for my unbridled delight

 

 

And lots of other stuff.

 

But the last one that I love that I’m not supposed to – dick pics. I do rather enjoy them. Not from anyone, from dicks I know. But I also don’t mind ones I don’t know. I generally always like to see. I may live to regret that.

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