Guest Piece – First Time

I’m not entirely sure how to introduce this. I was sent this a while back – actually I’ve been sent a few nice pieces that I haven’t gotten around to posting. If you’ve sent me something, I am getting to it. I’m sorry I’ve been rubbish

 

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Its 4pm on a Saturday and I’m anxious. I’ve been anxious since Monday and I haven’t had much sleep. The line for the bus is full and in a few minutes we will all lose any sense that there was a line to begin with. (There are a few senior citizens that could do with the seat you’ve booked), I tell myself. My first mental crack. (Stop it! You’re getting on this bus…….they have free travel passes anyway…what are they doing clogging up my fucking cheap transport?). I smile…my first smile of the day….until the bus comes into view and I lose it again. Somethings up. The bus is full. I sigh. (This isn’t our bus and I’m going to walk away). Full doubt is in my mind at this point and this will be the breaking point for me to walk away and make an excuse. “Sorry folks! The 4pm bus is…..um broken down and another will be with you in a half hour or so. Apologies for the inconvenience.” Behind me I can hear the collapsed line grumble and complain. I’ve long since walked away.

I have a fear of intimacy. The reasons of which I won’t go into but let me assure you that they are deeply seeded through unfortunate circumstances. I’ve struggled with it for a long time but always kept on top of it mentally because I like who I am. I’m comfortable being me. I’m thoughtful. I’m level headed. I’m funny. I’m some people’s definition of attractive. I’m a good person. I know this and will have no issue saying it to you with any fear that you might think I’m arrogant or self-centred. I don’t use anything I think of myself to bring people down and never will. My fear of intimacy had begun to cloud anything I thought about myself and I had felt that it was time to put myself out there, even if it wasn’t going to be the conventional route. Openness and honesty with myself and someone I felt would listen is a fine way to start. Through that, the moment came last Monday when the girl I had been open and honest with invited me to her place for drinks. I had not been expecting it at all despite our conversations steadily accelerating the notion that it might happen…..and that’s why I’ve been anxious since Monday.

I had strolled a good bit away from the bus stop and walked into Tesco purely to get in out of the rain. (I need to go back and get on that bus), I reminded myself. (She said if we didn’t do it now it might never happen and you are doing everything to fuck this up). I became suddenly aware that I was staring blankly out into the rain. (You are only going for drinks and you are foolishly allowing yourself to view it as more). I take out my phone and type the most affirmative thing I’ve written all week. -Bus running late….as may I. What’s your secret address?-. She had not told it to me yet and I expected to be quite forthcoming with it at this stage. Sending the text message had set me off on a jog around the aisles. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket as soon as I found the aisle I was looking for. Its arrival would confirm to me how much trust she placed in me to just arrive at her house without ever speaking to her. I read her address and grabbed her favourite chocolates off the shelf.

During the bus journey I start drinking some vodka. My nerves need to be settled. She had mentioned that she felt like she had ambushed me with the invite and that her main worry was that we wouldn’t have anything to talk about. She was inviting someone she didn’t know straight into her house. It was a legitimate worry and now was my main thought for the past few days. We had talked about this date and I was fully aware of what it is and what it isn’t. I wasn’t sure I was ready for it to be a silent disaster. I couldn’t think of a thing to talk about, that’s not how natural conversations go. -How are you getting on? I’m only just home- she texts….referring to the bus situation. -I’m freaking out!- I send back…referring to my complete lack of topics I had prepared. She doesn’t get it..How could she have?. Her “ambush” was a much needed push and the conversation we had on the bus just a reminder that I was doing the right thing.

-How much time do I have? Ballpark?-. I had just got off the bus. -30 mins- I sent back. She had way less but I knew I would have to gather myself at the door. The taxi journey took 20 minutes and sure enough I was gathering myself at the door. (You’re gonna be fine). I knocked on the door and waited. She opened it with a smile. (Fuck me, she is stunning…..fuck me, I’m already at ease). I walk on into the kitchen and steady myself. “How are you doing?” she says firmly with a smile. I can only assume she is referring to my nerves. “I’m fine” I say with a smile…..it was half the truth anyway. “You can take your bag off!” she points out. I had completely forgotten. I inexplicably place it on the table. (That was dumb), I scold myself. “You look well” she compliments. “Thank you, so do you”. “Drink?” she says as she turns to the fridge. (YEEES!) “I will actually, yes”. My mind eases. She is a breeze to chat to.

The night’s conversation didn’t seem forced. It was flowing. I said stupid things I regret like insulting her perfectly fine fireplace decoration and TV purely by just blurting things out before thinking. I’m sure she gathered when I was comfortable and when I wasn’t but I didn’t care how I came across at that stage. I was making her laugh. She was making me laugh. We were getting drunk and I was delighted that I had taken the decision to chat instead of watching a film. This was exactly what I had wanted and anything extra would be a bonus. We take shots. Music is on. I have no idea if she expects me to make a move but I’m quietly confident in my surroundings. I had gone through a lot of beer but I was still holding it together. We head upstairs.

I know I didn’t stay hard at the right times in bed that night but she knows fine well it had nothing to do with her. It was my first time. It happens. We both went down on each other and it would prove to be perfect tee-up for the morning. She lay back on the bed. My eyes traced her body as I knelt in close to her. If my cock got any harder it would shatter. Only one thought is going through my mind and that is to have her writhing around on the bed with my fingers deep inside her. I start to lick lips as I start to slide off her knickers. (Maybe I’m doing this too soon…….live and learn). I slide one finger inside her and face my palm to the ceiling. I locate her g-spot and she is moving already. I bring my mouth down to her clit and dive in. I can barely breathe with how fast my tongue and heart are going. I get a second finger in and glance up at her again. She’s writhing. I’m smiling. She has no idea how she has just singlehandedly kick-started a love affair with going down. I foolishly stop and lose some of my erection trying something else. I will come to regret this.

Later she is climbing back into bed and I had caught a glimpse of her figure with the light from outside. My cock is already throbbing and I let her know by guiding her hand over to it. She quickly grabs it and has it in her mouth before I can think. I can’t think. The pleasure running down through my cock and across my body is instant. She twists and slides my foreskin up and down. I can feel her tongue glide down my shaft and she takes me fully back her throat. It’s an indescribable feeling. I won’t last long. She is doing exactly what needs to get what she wants and there is no stopping her. My heart beats faster…”Imgonnacome” I say through my breath as I make the feeling die down. But it didn’t matter, it rose again and I let out a moan. My cock explodes in her mouth. Her mouth tightens around shaft allowing me to feel every throb and each load of cum travel through it and back her throat. She wasn’t going to leave a drop inside me. She pulls away and gasps. “I swallowed it all, sorry”. I had expressed an interest in cum play but right now she had no need to apologize. I could barely move.

The next morning I made the decision that I had to make the first move. I slid my hand down her belly and onto her clit. I rubbed it a few time before entering her. I’m relishing this. There is nothing simpler and yet so stunning than quietly watching someone get off because of you. She grabs my hand and tastes my fingers and bring it back down to her clit. I can clearly hear how wet she is, never mind feeling it. She is writhing. I’ll never tire of that image. I increase my speed. She arches her back. My cock is straining against my briefs. She comes quietly, back arched, mouth open. As I said, there is nothing better to watch. She’s on fire now. She grabs my cock in her mouth and I’m instantly feeling last night all over again. Her tongue travels down to my balls. She is noticeably gentle with them. (She remembered) Getting on top of me she asks what I want. I vote sex and I’m instantly delighted that it had not happened the night before. We are both sober now and in this moment it feels perfect. It couldn’t have played out better. She lifts herself up and twists her hand around to guide my cock inside her. I can’t help but notice that, in my view, it’s a tight squeeze. She lets herself glide down and rests herself on my balls. I put my hands on her thighs and squeeze as she begins to arch back and grind me. My cock is angled away from me and I’ve never felt it being worked this way before. There is no way I could last with this view. I come hard watching her. “Did you come?” she asks. “Yes”, I say, suddenly realizing that I should have let her know. “Then why didn’t you say?” she scolds. “Sorry”, I say with a smile. (You idiot), I say to myself.

 

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Certainly wish my first time had been as nice.

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