Bum Sex

Bum Sex  – Is Abbi Faking it? People need to know the truth.


Once again I’ve had to have a look at myself and wonder: Am I being a dickhead? Am I being unreasonable here? Do I actually believe the lines I spout?

I like it in the bum. I haven’t always, and it’s only with a select few (ok, just the one) that I really enjoyed it with. But on those occasions I did really enjoy it. I know I do like it because when I’m by myself I have on a few instances put something in there and gotten myself off. You can read about that here.

My point being, I’d hardly do something all by myself if I wasn’t into it. So I think we can accept that I do like it a bit. But it’s not my favourite thing ever, and I don’t want it every time. There are a few reasons, it always hurts a bit, no matter how gentle you are or how much lube you use it hurts. I’m mostly ok with that. And it hurts for a few days after too, which is fine when it’s your pussy and nothing is going near it, but not so fine when it’s your bumhole and you need to use it twice a day. Added to that, I am never going to climax from bum sex alone. I am actually not going to orgasm from anything other than my clit being stimulated.

Ok, so why do I do it? Because even with all the extra factors that I have to consider, some of them not so pleasant, I still enjoy it. I love the tight, full feeling of being stretched. I love two fingers in my ass as a cock works my pussy – it pulls everything tighter and it changes the sensation. I love the feeling of a smooth dildo being worked in my ass as my pussy is fucked with his dick. Again the full feeling, the knowledge that he can get himself off rubbing the dildo off the head of his cock through the walls of my skin. And the sensation of the dildo ploughing my ass feeling like nothing else.

And I like it when a dick is finally worked fully into my hole, past the pain and discomfort to the tight, good feeling. When he pushes hard and I feel it work something deeper in me – it’s hard to find or describe but it’s there, this spot where it feels divine.


I love all of that.


But as I said, just my ass being fucked won’t get me off. I’ll need other things. I do it because it’s a nice addition to other proceedings, I’ll do it cos I like the feeling, the sensation and because it feels filthy to me, to be had like that. But it’s never the only thing.


Now as much as I like it and I never want to see any sexual act that I do as a favour bestowed on anyone, there is one caveat that is attached to bum sex. I am reluctant to let anyone into my ass if I can’t go in theirs. And someone pointed out to me recently that this was unreasonable.


Is it? Is this an unreasonable stance for me to take?

I don’t think it is. Managing to take anyone up my arse it quite a feat, I want this to be appreciated and acknowledged; and not just by words but by knowing from experience.


I think what’s actually unreasonable is to ask someone to do something that you aren’t willing to do yourself.

Him: Can I fuck you in the arse?

Me: Can I fuck you in the arse?

Him: What! No, this is a one way street! HA why would you ask that.

Me: Why would you ask it?

Him: Cos I’d like to fuck you in the arse

Me: Well that’s ok, you can fuck my arse as long as I can put something the same size as your penis up yours.

Him: Why? Why does it have to be reciprocal, I want to go in your pussy too does that mean I should have my cock replaced?

Me: You’ve missed the point, we both have assholes we don’t both have the same genitalia. Bit rich expecting someone to do something you’re not willing to do yourself

Him: Would you like to go into my asshole or are you just theorising.



I won’t bore you with any more of that conversation but I’ll sum it up: his point was that if I wanted it why was I stopping myself from having it, and if he wasn’t into receiving it himself, why was I insisting that I got to go in his.

And this had me thinking, was I being unreasonable? And also did I really like it, as he implied that I didn’t.



It took me a few weeks, and the answer is no and yes. No I’m not being unreasonable and yes I do like it, but I like it a certain way. It’s not a ridiculous stance simply because it’s my body, my sex life and my sex standards that I set for myself and I don’t have to discard them for anyone. My personal belief is that anal is kind of a big deal for me, I need you to appreciate that or I’m not doing it with you, I won’t enjoy it. It’s more intimate and I need a level of trust that I mostly don’t need with the rest of sex. And if you want me (or anyone you’re sleeping with) to do something that we won’t enjoy then that’s something you should look at within yourself.

Maybe you need to go on 5 dates with someone before you kiss them, maybe you need to be in love with someone before you have sex.

I don’t know what your standards for intimacy are. But the point is they are your standards for intimacy and what you’re ok with and someone else’s need doesn’t get to trump yours. If this guy doesn’t want to know how good it might feel with a finger in his ass, that’s totally fine, but he then doesn’t get to put anything in mine. It’s not about making anyone do anything that they don’t want to do it’s about respecting someone’s intimacy needs.



And now I’m going to go have a wank thinking of the last good ass sex I had.

He was prepping me with a little finger in there first, then two big fingers, which he twisted around to stretch and widen me. With his hand twisted round he got his thumb on my clit and another finger into my ass. I was writhing and bucking down onto his hand enjoying the almost overload of sensation, almost missing watching his face as he surveyed what he was doing to me. And then it brooked and crashed over me, I came. A surprise I wasn’t expecting, this was supposed to just be prep for taking his cock in my ass. I started to apologise but he laughed and pushed his hand harder into me everywhere until I couldn’t take it anymore and wriggled out from underneath him; positioning myself ready for his cock to edge slowly into my arse.

Slowly, so slowly he edged his considerable size into my hole, holding my hips but telling me to control it. Encouraging me, telling me how good I was, making me want him.

Until he got it right in and then fucked me with good hard thrusts.


And I loved it.

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