Sex Prep Diary

Planners Gonna Plan


I say this all the time because I love planning, I love organising and I love having something to look forward to. And I can control that by being the one who plans and gives myself something to look forward to. I’m not likely to sit around waiting to be invited to something, I’m more likely to do the inviting. (most of the time, there are of course whole weekends when I’m sitting on the couch in my underwear doing fuck all and talking to no one)

I’m also not someone who won’t commit because actually I’m waiting for a better offer. If you ask me to do something that I am into doing I have no issues agreeing to it weeks in advance, no panic with that. Again, assuming that it is something that I am into doing with someone I like and not something shitty (i.e. do not ask me to a wedding, I’m never gonna jump at that. Or indeed a child’s birthday party – hard pass every time)

But sex? Yup, I’ll happily sign up to that. And if you’re fucking me I hope you feel happy about that too, and that it’s something that you are into.

Last Friday I asked him what he’d be doing today (the following Friday) Why the fuck were you asking so early I hear you say? Well I work 9 to 5 Monday to Friday and frequently longer than that. I also rent my house on Airbnb some weekends, so I don’t have the use of it. Other weekends I am home to see my parents on the other side of the country. The point is I am busy, I have commitments and, like every one of you, my weekends are precious and I don’t like to leave them to chance. If I know I have a free one, no obligations, no travelling, no guests – then I definitely want to see if I can have sex

So last Friday I realised that I had a free weekend looming and it was not going to be left to chance. I sent the message and he responded swiftly. Of course he could make himself available. And the sex prep began. I had 6 days to organise a sex session, six days to wind myself up. Six days to get excited.


I need to choose underwear, pick toys, get waxed, have a pedicure, buy booze, stock up on condoms and see if I can stop my period from happening. I don’t mind sex when I have my period, I enjoy it immensely but given the choice I’d rather not have it, and if I am given time to plan these things then I can certainly see about postponing it.


A week is the perfect amount of time to get everything aligned. To make sure that everything is as I would want it. I have blocked my diary so I can legitimately decline any further offers, I have time to get a wax appointment and have the requisite 24 hours recovery time.

And all the other myriad little things that I do that no one probably notices but which make me feel prepared, ready and less distracted.


Spontaneous is great but also, fuck spontaneous, give me anticipation! A long, delicious week full of it, until I am about to fucking detonate.


And I am about to go right off.

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