Hand Jobs

There isn’t much about sex that I don’t like. It’s one of the only things sold to you when you’re young as this amazing thing adults get to do – that when you get to actually do it, it lives up to the hype. Or for me it did.

(not immediately, my first time was shit)

 

Not only did it live up to the hype, it surpassed it. I may be alone in this or at least not in the majority but sex gets better the more I do it. There is always something to learn or try or discover. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. Possibly because I’m so fascinated with it.

 

But there’s one thing that I’m sure I’m not any better at; hand jobs. I can take a guess that as I got past being a teenager eagerness of both parties to move to the more glamorous thing (blow job, sex, anal) has brought it to a stage that I cannot remember the last time I finished a guy with my hands alone. (it definitely doesn’t count if my mouth was involved)

 

I’ve been thinking about this since I read this piece about hand jobs – crucially it’s written by a guy and that is what resonated.

Let’s go back a step. See, I love being fingered, absolutely adore someone with deft fingers bringing me to climax with just their hands. And I know I’m not alone in feeling this, girls (I know) seem to love this or at least bemoan the fact that they don’t get to experience it so much as an adult. Super credible research on this came from the responses I got when I wrote about being fingered here and here i.e. people left comments and girls chimed in with the chorus of how it seems to be a forgotten art.

 

I love it. I think because it reminds me of being young and that was all you did, and how arousing and frustrating and exciting it was. And now with someone who might know what they’re doing, someone who might be able to finish the job successfully, it’s an even better experience. And yet, it’s not something that I will do for a guy.

 

Surely if I like it this much, and if so many girls like it so much it follows that there has to be a percentage of guys that do to? A point that was confirmed by Exhibit A in his piece – hand jobs feel great, even more so when they’re not perfect as that in and of itself is a tease that you can’t get with your own hand.

I hear all this and I still struggle.

 

Which is a shame because I love having a cock in my hand. I love squeezing it between my fingers, Kneading it, feeling it get hard. Running my hand up and down it, back and forth over the head, slowly, deliberately. If I can be left to do this while leaning over him, kissing him….

Adding a bit of spit to it, to ease the strokes.

I’m aroused just thinking of it.

 

And yet I rarely if ever do it. And I’ve been trying to ascertain what the barrier is, and I’m still not sure. It’s most likely a collection of things. I think I’m doing it wrong, or that I’m hurting him; this is especially true if the guy has been circumcised, as I am wholly convinced that without a protective foreskin that I am torturing him. I have no idea where I got this from.

I think he’s probably not enjoying it, that he’d prefer if I put it in my mouth or that I stopped altogether and just got on with the fucking. Back to me thinking I’m doing it wrong, all fucking wrong, so wrong I should just go and burn my hands and be done with them.

Maybe not the last bit.

 

And I’m robbing myself of the chance to get better, or worse, I’m robbing myself of the chance to make a guy come where I can see it and direct it. To watch it shoot out on top of me, or to have it ooze down in between my fingers. I honestly cannot remember the last time I had that pleasure. And it is a pleasure.

 

Maybe I’m wrong, maybe guys don’t want handjobs, maybe you’re all delighted that you’re over 18 and have graduated to the other things, the more important bases and you have no desire to be pleasured with my hands? I don’t know, and I won’t unless I ask or try or suggest.

I want to, but even thinking it in my head is daunting! If I think of any of my recent beaus, I think I would still be tentative in suggesting it.

 

I need to work on this. For sure.

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