You Me & Another

Here ‘s  a conversation I had about adding another person to the mix in a way I hadn’t been aware of. Stick with the whatsapp convo. It’s going somewhere sexy.


That is a literal text conversation I had with someone. If I was at all arty and shit I’d be able to make that look like text boxes but I’m not all arty so getting it formatted like that was about as much as I could do. You get the gist, I want to do something so I asked him.


Anyway. I’d never really thought about erotic massage before, either doing it or what it actually entailed. It’s billed as something that can put the spark back into your sex life but if you already have loads of spark I think it could serve more purposes; adding a third person without the social awkwardness of doing it with a friend or trying to find someone randomly. Not to mention learning new things. As said in the texts above – I want to know how to do a proper prostate massage, ideally I’d like to be able to make him come just from that. And I think I might need help in getting there. So this idea really turned me on. I also like the idea of watching him with another girl (if I’m honest, I’d love the idea of watching him with another man too) but this would definitely suffice.


Am I intimidated? Yeah, I am a tiny bit. All the masseuses seem totally fucking gorgeous, and I’m just me. But that’s my insecurity, that will always be there. If I think about who I’m doing this with I won’t feel that as I know our sexual connection will outweigh it. I know he will get off on me getting off more than any of it. Well maybe not more than having his ass played with!

And knowing I am getting to give him pleasure will thrill me.

I may live to regret suggesting this to him, he might not rest until we do it.


If you’re thinking of doing this, for whatever reasons then I would suggest you give it a bit of thought and do a bit of research. You want to be sure that you’re getting your needs met and that it is with someone who has experience with couples. As much as I love the enthusiasm from my fav partner in crime, I wasn’t too convinced by the links he sent me. Find a reputable outfit and check for references. I can’t really give any advice on this as I haven’t done it yet. But these are the things that I would consider.



This was inspired by Karma Tantric, a sensual massage agency in London, offering body to body massage, erotic massage and prostate massage for men, women and couples.



Who’s The Cunt Here?

Who’s the Cunt here? No one, that was a kinda rhetorical question.

It’s funny how two people can see something completely differently isn’t it? I mean, we all know this but it’s only when we have an acute experience of it again that we give it any thought; how can that person have taken my actions to mean what they think they mean… it wasn’t what I meant at all.

How can it all get so misconstrued and both parties come out thinking they were hard done by and the blameless victim?

Very easily actually.


I don’t think anyone’s the bad guy here. I certainly don’t think it’s me but I suppose I can see how my actions might have been misconstrued. We can never write these things objectively but I really am going to try to explain it from both our sides.


To make it easier (I mean harder for you) I’m not going to gender each side of the story so you can’t tell which one is me. So judge away……

Side One:

I like this person, but I’m busy. We’ve had a great time and we both know we like each other. Definitely like hanging out. The sex is spectacular and I enjoy X’s company, I’m pretty sure that X feels the same. I do feel a tiny but of guilt about us sleeping together though, as I know my feelings aren’t as strong, I feel less attached, I’m not convinced that this has any potential. But I’m happy with something casual.

I’ve left it to X to get in touch when we meet, if I’m available then I respond.

X has no filter – I think I like that, seems to be really comfortable telling me anything. We are very different but not in a jarring way. Not so far.

We haven’t seen each other in a while, I wouldn’t mind getting together again. I send off some cryptic messages but eventually we do meet up once or twice.

I’ve had a few messages from X since we last met up but I haven’t responded, they didn’t say anything specific and I was busy with work. I don’t want to get into the habit of banal message exchanges. Not with someone I’m not sure about.

It’s been a while, I haven’t heard from X. Granted I haven’t sent any messages – maybe I should have responded to the last few? I thought X might have stayed in touch..

I wouldn’t mind seeing X  – I think I’ll send a message, see if we can hook up. It’s been ages, but I’m sure it’s ok. It was the last time.


Side Two:

Damn I like this person. We’re kinda different but the sex is spectacular and we can talk about anything. I think I could tell Y anything and not be judged, that it wouldn’t faze Y. I think I am more into this though and I’ve said so. I think I’d like this to go somewhere, or at very least I want to see more of Y. See if there is the potential that I feel?

Or am I blinded by the mind-blowing sex? Do we really have that much in common?

Y hasn’t shown any interest in meeting up again – I think I should let this go.

We don’t see each other for ages and then Y texts out of the blue. I’m surprised but meet up anyway – I feel I’ve nothing to lose, I can deal with casual if that’s all it is.

We meet up again, twice, always with me instigating all contact. But after this time I have two, maybe 3 messages ignored. I decide that Y has no real interest in me, not even casually and it seems to be always on Ys terms so I stop messaging. I can take a hint.

And if I’m wrong, sure no harm, Y will just send me a message, let me know if there’s still any interest.


Weeks later, 6 or 7, and I get a message out of the blue.

What would you do?


Would you leave it 6 weeks to contact someone, would you respond if someone contacted you after that much time?

If you contacted someone after not seeing them for a short period would you expect a warm response? If someone got in touch after weeks of no contact would you be insulted or happy to hear from them?

Let’s say you don’t get a warm response – do you have the right to be insulted?

Let’s say you get contacted after being ignored – do you have the right to be insulted?


It depends on your point of view I suppose. It depends on your expectations. I think there was a lack of communication here and it led to both parties being disappointed by what they felt it was ok to expect from the other.

Expecting too much

Expecting too little

Expecting anything at all.


Dating continues to be very hard. And Jesus Christ, if someone could give me a fucking hand book, I’d really appreciate it.


(If anyone is interested, I will happily reveal which dickhead I was in the above scenario)

Prodigal Lovers

Aww man, I’ve said it before and I am saying it, nay, shouting it again here now: I need BOUNDARIESparameters.

I don’t mind what they are as long as I know them. I’m not asking for a rule book for dealing with you but just some clarity.


If I stopped answering someone’s texts, ignored them, then I’d truly hope that they got the message and left me alone. If I wanted to see them again but was too busy – then I’d say just that ‘Hey, up to my tits at the mo, I might not be available or quick to respond but don’t write me off’. And I’d definitely check in more than once every 6-8 weeks. That is of course if I had any genuine interest. If I didn’t … if I wasn’t really that into the person, then I’d be looking to check in when I was bored, when I had no other options. We’ve all done it. I’m not casting any aspersions here. I’m just calling it out, naming it. Because when you want to be seeing someone, then you do actually make the effort to see them.

Where was there any indication that I was supposed to keep going? A girl only has so much pride or energy… and with no encouragement, or explanation or indeed indication what else was I supposed to think?

Everyone is busy, everyone has shit going on, to state it like you’re busier than anyone else is akin to saying that what you happen to be busy with is more important than what I am busy with and that is an affront.

A few people in my life are like that; don’t answer texts or ring you back when you call – cos you know, THEY ARE SO BUSY. And I refute that. No one is too busy to respond in 48hrs. But we all know people like this, we all have them in our lives. We swear we’re not going to keep instigating contact or keep them in the loop with plans but then we do, because we love them and we accept that this is what they are like. It doesn’t stop it being ferociously annoying and a wee bit hurtful.



I digress. The point I am labouring here is that ‘busy’ is not a valid argument and yet it seems to be used as if it was the final word. You’re either interested or you’re not and even for something casual 6 weeks is pretty long with zero interaction and having ignored the last few attempts at contact. Saying you’re busy is the new lazy, it’s insulting on two levels; you’re too busy to give me your time because you’re not that interested and it also says that your time is more important than mine because of how BUSY you are. We all have the same amount of hours in the day and it’s how you prioritise them – this is not a revelation of a statement.

Ok, so I am not a priority, that’s fine I don’t think I should be. But if you want me to prioritise you for any of my time then maybe get in touch, don’t act like I am the last thing you turn to. I can promise you that I am low maintenance but even I need a tiny bit more than that to stay interested. Throw me a fecking bone for flip sake, gimme something that says I shouldn’t count you out. Or better let me know that you haven’t counted me out even if it is only very occasionally that you want to meet up. Give me that information so that I can make that choice myself.


But prodigal welcomes for discourteous lovers are no longer what I deal in.




I don’t care if you’re a brain surgeon, a social worker, a midwife, a parent or CEO of Globo Mega Corp – whatever your occupation, your time is not worth more than anyone else’s. And even if you think you’re Beyoncé, feck it, even if you ARE Beyoncé and you know it, don’t act like your time is more precious. It’s not becoming.

I’m Not Done With Your Throat Yet

I can’t get these words out of my head, they creep up on me and punch me in the stomach. The good way. That knowing pull that drags down to my lips and makes an ache for my cunt. Their utter perfection; like a gif on a loop it just plays in my head of its own accord and sometimes my moan is almost audible.

They might be the best words he’s said to me. If I tell him I’ll ruin it, he won’t be able to say it like that again.



As he let himself go, gave into that place where he takes full control,  and started to own it .. he says calmly and for himself: And I’m not done with your throat yet


It’s the delivery. He means it. And he means it for him. He can finally see his total control of me exercised in front of him and this comment is like … almost involuntary, it’s elicited by the sight of me completely at his mercy.


I will do anything for him in this moment, his fingers deftly working my cunt. Building me up, going deep then coming out again, fucking me and teasing me. I know I will come from this, I know I will come well. He’s done it before and I trust he gets off on it. Which makes me writhe against him.



But these words, ‘I’m not done with your throat yet‘ whispered close into my ear as I heave with the weight of breathing, spoken because he wanted to say them, not for my heightened pleasure; but that is why they do just that. My breathing is in gasps, and I sigh into a moan of need.




I’m not done with your throat yet 



A hint of menace, equally promising and threatening, reminding me of what he did to it earlier. How he fucked it. Held his cock down it until I gagged and my eyes watered. Then did it again. How he held my head back over the edge of the bed, angling himself so he could get a rhythm, sliding his cock in and out of my mouth. Using my mouth as he wanted, reaching the back of my throat then grasping my hair in his hands and holding me in place; his whole length choking me and cutting off my air. Then releasing me. Pulling my head up and kissing me as I struggle for breath before returning me to my task.




I’m not done with your throat yet

Oh god I hope you’re not.